Am a girl who is away from what she should be as a Muslim. I love my religion, but I can't keep on the strict rules that Allaah has put for us. My mind sometimes takes me away and pushes me to think in great things that is beyond my human mind. I love Allaah and I trust him that he is there for us when we need him. Well, I need him now to make my heart full with Eemaan and believe. Sometimes I feel that my thoughts are sins they are in fact thinking in creation, etc. I do pray but not in the right way I mean with pure and pious heart I suffer a lot from myself. I can't control it I feel that this is a punishment from Allaah. I keep praying for Allaah to make me a strong believer. Everyday from long time but I still go out unveiled talk to men I don't mean make sexual relation or doing bad things but I do things I shouldn't do. I used to have dreams I can't analyze like that one I was in the other day and Allaah was talking everyone was there it was the Qiyaamah but the sound was so dazzling that I couldn't understand what he was saying afterwards woman was standing beside me told me that he was saying a piece of Quran (Al Rahmaan) so I raised my hand because I knew that the ones who know what Allaah is going to say are those who are going to heaven 4 years later a friend of mine told me that this is a fact that is what going to be at the other day and Allaah will Say (Al-Rahmaan) and non-believer won't hear him I was panic. Please help me. I love Allaah am crying from the thought that might be outcaste from His mercy. I'd several dreams but no signs anymore. I need your help. May Allaah forgive me. I used to be ad one in the past. I used to steel to lie but not any more I want be a good Muslim. I love Allaah and I hope He forgive me tell me what to do with myself and my daemons. May Allaah make you the way to save my soul.
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
First of all, you should know, dear sister in Islam, that as long as you are blaming yourself for being negligent and thinking to be righteous, then you have treaded the beginning of the correct path. In order to be enabled to tread the correct path, one has to be honest and earnest with Allaah in willing to do so, because if you are truthful, Allaah will enable you to achieve your endeavour and make you fulfil your desire. Allaah Says (what means): {O you who believe! Be afraid of Allaah, and be with those who are truthful (in words and deeds).}[Quran 9:119]. Allaah further Says (what means): {If they had been true to Allaah, it would have been better for them.}[Quran 47:21]. In addition to this, one should have a strong determination, as this is the best thing which will help you achieve this. Allaah Says (what means): {[Allaah said], "O Yahyaa (John), take the Scripture [i.e. adhere to it] with determination."}[Quran 19:12]; i.e. doing this seriously and to the best of one's ability. This will make your concern based on being steadfast on the religion of Allaah and achieve the means which lead to it.
In addition to truthfulness, sincerity and determination in achieving righteousness and steadfastness on Allaah's religion, there are other means which we will mention that could help you achieve this:
1- To invoke Allaah earnestly while choosing the best times in which your supplications are most likely to be answered by Allaah, like when prostrating, during the last third part of the night and the like. In this regard, please refer to Fataawa 83421 and 85023.
2- To repent to Allaah and avoid minor and major sins, and to give the rights back to their owners, like stolen money and the like -according to your ability- even indirectly. You are obliged to give back the rights of people; for the conditions of repentance, please refer to Fatwa 87903.
3- Not to despair from the mercy of Allaah, as Allaah forgives the sins no matter how great they are. In this regard, please refer to Fatwa 83055.
4- Be keen in performing obligations and supererogatory acts of worship like the prayer, fasting, reciting the Quran, mentioning Allaah and all other acts which causes the purification of one's soul and heart.
5- Be keen in seeking beneficial knowledge and attending circles of knowledge, conferences, seminars and the like.
6- Keep company with righteous women who would help you in performing acts of obedience to Allaah, and you should avoid keeping company with dissolute women who may incite you to disobey Allaah.
We ask Allaah to enable you to do good.
Allaah Knows best.
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