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Fatwa CenterA Muslimah's daughter became a lesbian and left the home to live with her lesbian friend
Question
A woman converted to Islam at the age of 35. Her daughter was about 13 this time. In the meanwhile the woman was married to a Muslim and the daughter converted to Islam also. Than a terrible think happened. The daughter at the age of 18 began to have lesbian relationship with a girl the mother gave her two alternatives: First to stay at home (and of course go study) and follow the rules of Islam exactly or second to leave the house. The girl left the house for living with her lesbian girlfriend. My question is: How the woman should continue the relationship to her daughter. The girl is still Muslim and now of course surrounded by very bad people?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
Our answer to this woman is as follows:
The blessing of Islam is one of the best blessings so you have to thank Allaah and praise Him as He guided you and your daughter to Islam and you have to supplicate to Allaah as much as possible to make you and her firm on this religion.
There is no doubt that this lesbian relationship that your daughter was involved in is a major sin and a matter that worries every person who is jealous about his/her religion and honour. However, this worry should not be a reason of random behaviour and action, rather one has to act appropriately and ponder about the matter with wisdom. This girl should not have been given the choice to leave the house, as this is what adolescents at her age generally would like to do, especially in those societies where you live. It is most likely that her leaving home would lead her to greater harms than what she has already committed, and she might even apostate from her religion. So, it is better for her to stay at home as she is, rather than leaving. While at home, you can try to turn her into a righteous person and provide her with proper and correct advice. Therefore, we advise you to bring your daughter back home and continue to flatter her and please her until she comes back. When she comes back, try to sit with her in private, and it would be better if you sit with her far away from the home environment. However, you should be careful not to blame her or complain to her, but try to find out the reasons that led her to behave in such a way with that girl. The pedagogues state that emotional vacuum in some adolescents may lead them to keep company with some dissolute people. Anyway, through these sitting sessions with her you seek the reasons that led her to do so, in order to find appropriate solutions to this problem. However, you should keep this debate and its results as a secret between yourselves so that she will trust you. Also, you should endeavour to find pious girls her age to keep company with her and make her listen to some lectures (recorded in tapes) even indirectly. Besides, she should not go out alone but with you or with some pious girls or with a Mahram (unmarriageable relative).
Finally, it should be noted that if this girl is of marriageable age, then you should look for a pious husband to marry her to, who will help her to preserve her chastity, and there is nothing wrong about this. A woman proposed herself to the Prophet 
for marriage, as reported by Al-Bukhari
. He also reported that 'Umar 
proposed his daughter Hafsah to 'Uthmaan, may Allaah be pleased with all of them, for the purpose of marriage.
Allaah knows best.
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