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Fatwa CenterQuestionable customs in India
Question
My name is Abdullaah Faarooqi and I belong to India. I would like to ask few questions if you can answer this it will be very kind of you and May Allaah bless you for this:
1) Is it correct to take anything from the bride's side, in the India it is a custom to give the dowry from the bride’s side even if the groom does not demand for it? Is the acceptance of such dowry is acceptable. And if groom says that he does not want the dowry then bride’s family says that they are giving their child a Gift (remember that the Gift includes all the necessities of house from bed, refrigerator, utensils, Cupboard and all the things that are required in a house). But due to this the society is becoming corrupted, I have my personal opinion that bride's family give Gift so that there status in the society can be maintained and due to this custom the poor families are force to give their child such gifts and they take money from others and suffer many hardship and there are cases in which a girl remain unmarried because her father cannot effort the expenses of her marriage and when these types of girls do not find any supporter (husband) then they acquire illegal means to fulfill their requirements, so what is your opinion whether such gifts should be accepted or not.
2) Is it correct to go to the bride’s house before marriage in the presence of its family members, in India it is a custom that once a time of marriage has been fixed then the boy cannot go to the girl’s house. Is it Islaamic or not.
3) If there is time say 2 years remaining in the marriage then people do many things like giving new dresses to the girl on occasion like 'Eed, etc., is this correct.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
If this money and furniture is offered by the family of the bride to the bridegroom as a sign of generosity to him or considered as the bride's trousseau then there is no harm in accepting it. But if it is offered as a dowry then it is not permissible for him to accept it as it is the husband who has to offer the dowry to the bride as ordained by the Islaamic rules. Allaah says (interpretation of meaning): {And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage).}[4:4]. So obliging the wife or her family to offer the dowry to the husband is in contradiction to the Islaamic jurisprudence and to nature, thus it is a bad habit that must be abandoned. Moreover, if a person is engaged to a woman, she is still alien to him as long as the marriage contract is not concluded. So it is not permissible for him to stay in seclusion with her and it is not permissible for him to talk to her except for a need. If there is a need to talk to her it is permissible but the religious requirements must be observed, like her wearing Hijab and with the presence or a Mahram (non-marriageable relative) or the like. But there is no harm for a fiancé to offer some gifts to his fiancée, or to exchange gifts between the two families, and this is something desirable as it is a means of increasing affection and kindness between them.
Allaah knows best.
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