I am a very depressed Muslim, I am always let down by others. I am very alone! I was even convinced that Allaah is only enough for me and I do not need any friend other than Allaah. But now sometimes I feel that Allaah does not love me and I am destined for Hell that is because I see everyone else enjoying life, they go around girls, do not pray but still they are very happy and jubilant and very successful in their studies and life, while I do not go around girls and I also pray Salaat but still I am dejected. I feel that Allaah has favoured them over me in every sense and Allaah loves them very much and not me. I have had seen many traumatic emotional moments in my life and have no one to talk to about this. I worry a lot for me Salaat, but it always happens that they some of them are delayed not intentionally by me but sometimes due to school. I was so happy that my new school had a schedule in which I could come pray Thuhr Salaat at home but due to my father's insistence I have to use school transportation and by the time that drops at home I miss my Thuhr Salaat. Why is this happening to me? Does not Allaah want to pray Salaat? Sometimes I worry so much for future about my job and everything. I do not know what to do? In these vacation I also wanted to go to perform Umrah but my program was cancelled while my other friends went to perform it even though they don't pray that regularly. I don't what's wrong with me? Whether Allaah likes me or not? Sometimes I feel killing myself when the pressure is so high on me and I alone.
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
You have to take it easy and be cautious about these thoughts, because if you indulge in thinking about them, their results could be regretted later. You have to be aware about this matter. Our points could be summarized in the following:
1. A Muslim is required to be steadfast on the Religion of Allaah. Being steadfast is an objective in itself. So one should not look at whether he is rewarded in this life or not.
2. True happiness for a person is in the obedience of Allaah, seeking His pleasure and having the sweetness of faith. The Prophet was the happiest person and did not possess anything from the pleasures of this world. Months would pass by without him lighting a fire in his house to cook food as 'Aa'ishah, the mother of the believers informed us. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
3. Possessing wealth and engaging in worldly pleasures are not evidence of being happy. Allaah informed us that wealth could be a punishment for its owner, as Allaah says (interpretation of meaning): {So let not their wealth or their children impress you. In reality Allah's plan is to punish them with these things in the life of this world.}[9:55].
4. When Allaah withholds something from someone in this world, this does not mean that He is not pleased with him. On the contrary, this could mean that He is pleased with him. The Prophet said: "When Allaah loves a people, He afflicts them, so whoever is pleased, Allaah will be pleased with him, and whoever is angry, Allaah will be angry about him." [At-Tirmithi and Ibn Maajah]
5. A Muslim is in need of having pious friends who can help him in being obedient to Allaah. Having such friends does not contradict his reliance upon Allaah.
6. There is no harm in thinking about the future and about a job. Try to provide the means and seek the help of Allaah and do not be in despair. You have to be careful about being pessimistic. You have to know that no soul will die until it consumes all of its provision. So do not perish yourself by thinking too much about this matter.
7. It is an obligation to perform the prayer at its fixed time. If your means of transportation leads you to delay the prayer from its time, then it is an obligation upon you to seek another means of transportation, and consult your father in this regard.
8. Killing oneself is a major great sin so you have to stop thinking about it and repel any whispers that might occur to you about it.
Allaah knows best.
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