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Fatwa CenterShe objects to husband's desire for divorce
Question
I am married to an Arab from Jordan. We are having problems now. I recently converted to Islam. My husband wants to return to Jordan, but won't take me with him. He says he doesn't have to stay married to me if he does not want to. He is a teacher of linguistics in Jordan. Now he wants a divorce. I love him dearly, but he wants out of our marriage. He says Allah does not say when we marry, we have to stay together. What is marriage for/but to build our life together? What shall I do? How can I talk to him? Does Allah say to divorce your mate, if you don't like to be married? What can I do? Sincerely
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
Islam gives great importance to the stability of married life. The martial contract is established in the first place to last forever as to enable the couple to build a good family that adds a well-made brick to the buildings of the Muslim society as a whole.
In such a family the parents will be able to educate their children in the right way. This is why Allah described marriage as the strong covenant.
Allah says: "…and they have taken from you a firm and strong covenant? (An-Nisa 4:21)
Islam rejects anything that would weaken this strong relationship. Reported Abu Dawud narrated Ibn Omar that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "The lawful thing that Allah hates most is divorce." The scholars of Islam differ regarding the ruling of divorce without reason. The Ahnaf consider it unlawful while the others disliked it.
Anyway, the man who divorces his wife without a reason does a hateful act in Shariah. Despite that, Islam does not oblige a man to stay with a wife he wants to divorce nor does Islam oblige him to return her to wedlock life after divorcing her unless he did the divorce during her menstruation period or in confinement.
So, we advise you to try your best to convince him, reminding him of the great covenant which you took from him. Tell him that divorcing you contradicts honoring this great covenant. Indeed, it is not fair that he isolates himself from you and leave you with sorrow, above all, after you became a Muslim. Let him know that you would accept polygamy- just for him. If this does not help, seek refuge with Allah and divorce could be better for you. Allah says: "…and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know. (Al-Baqarah 2:216)
Allah knows best.
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