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Fatwa CenterSuffers from husband's sexual dysfunctioning
Question
My husband suffers Sexual Dysfunction (premature ejaculation) due to which I remain unsatisfied and it causes much distress. He takes these issues pretty much for granted and does not consider my requirement although he has good knowledge of the Qur'an and Sunnah. I feel used and discarded when he is done in half a minute and then has nothing to do with me. The most distressing situation is when he assigns blame to me for his weakness by saying that I remain unsatisfied as I do not co-operate. I have quietly suffered for quiet a few years as I was too shy to raise this issue. I was waiting for him to understand my need. Unfortunately, he didn’t so I told him to take care of my need but my concerns were not heard. He is too arrogant and I know he will not seek medical treatment. What should I do to remain satisfied and chaste?
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
It is known that premature ejaculation of the husband prevents the wife from getting sexually satisfied. It is also known that the fact that the husband does not take this reality into consideration as well as his negligence of endeavoring to meet his wife's sexual desires contradict the good company that Allah imposed on the married couple.
Allah says: And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable." (Al-Baqarah 2:228)
He also says: "And live with them honorably." (An-Nisa 4:19)
Reported Abd Al Razzaq narrated Anas that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "When the husband has intercourse with his wife, he should be sincere with her. So, when he satisfies his need before she does, he should not hasten her." There are marriage etiquettes that should be observed.
These etiquettes include wearing perfume or eau de toilette before intercourse. Aisha may Allah be pleased with her, used to wear perfume for the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam).
Also, before intercourse, other actions that arouse the desire should be done, such as kissing, hugging, etc. They also include not removing the male sex organ from his wife's vagina until She gets satisfied, etc.
Anyway, we advise you to keep on reminding your husband of the suffering you undergo because of the failure to satisfy your sexual desire. You may also let him read this Fatwa. Finally, we advise your husband to seek the help of the doctors, specialists in this field. May Allah ease all your matters.
Allah knows best.
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