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Fatwa CenterWife feels unappreciated by husband who says little except criticism
Question
Since moving from a Western country to this one 12 years ago, I embraced Islam. I have learned to be satisfied with the simplest of things. I accept that what happens in my fate, but after 12 years of marriage I wonder how long I will have bear my husband seldom talking to me except to criticize me. My husband is a good Muslim in the sense he does understand and practices his religion well, it is just this habit and problem that he can't seem to be able to show appreciation in words and even sometimes in action. He does show his love for his children quite well and I think this what gives me the strength to accept this lack of consideration. I have sent him messages and religious sayings, but he acts as though I never said or sent him anything.
I would like to know how through Islam I can approach him?
I believe he thinks he is doing his best and not talking is just a habit that is not important to his wife.
Please guide me to articles, sayings, and the Qur'an in order to satisfy my need for appreciation.
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
Since your husband is as you mentioned regarding his religion and acts of obedience, then the fact that he is silent and lacks affection towards you does not harm you. People are not all the same (different natures), especially as, you mentioned, he is doing his best.
We advise you to do the following:
1) Dress in a good manner and beautify yourself for him (while at home).
2) Try to encourage him to discuss beneficial subjects with you.
3) Talk to him in a nice and kind manner in the same way you would like him to talk to you.
Allah knows best.
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