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Fatwa CenterDespairing of problems caused by his mother
Question
My mother has caused terrible problems in my personal life: she abuses my wife, her parents, my son, me, my father (who always supports my wife). He has even deserted her because he likes me and my wife. She just wants to finish off my wife and my son. Worse is that she is now joined by my sister in this matter and I am left as the only support of my father and Allah (Who is not ready to help me). Should I commit suicide to get rid of my problems, or just run away? Please advice me.
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
We advise you to be patient and take every measure that could solve this problem or reduce it. Among the measures we suggest:
1) Take an independent home for yourself away from your mother and do not let your wife or child have any more contact with your mother. At the same time, advise your mother with kindness, softness and wisdom because her right upon you is great. Allah made the obedience in righteousness of disbelieving parents a must. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.}[31:14]. He also Says: {But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly,…..}[31:15].
So, seek the reward of Allah for everything that you do to your mother, and every bad act that she did to you and that you bear. Allah will undoubtedly reward you for it. On the other hand, try your best to reconcile your parents. Keep supplicating Allah to reconcile your hearts and unite your family. Indeed, everything is in His Hands. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {Verily, His Command, when He intends a thing, is only that He says to it, "Be!" and it is!}[36:82].
Beware of despair and distress. We warn you strongly against committing suicide. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "Whoever purposely throws himself from a mountain and kills himself, will be in the (Hell) Fire falling down into it and abiding therein perpetually forever; and whoever drinks poison and kills himself with it, he will be carrying his poison in his hand and drinking it in the (Hell) Fire wherein he will abide eternally forever; and whoever kills himself with an iron weapon, will be carrying that weapon in his hand and stabbing his abdomen with it in the (Hell) Fire wherein he will abide eternally forever."
So, fear Allah and never think of committing suicide to run away from the problems and difficulties you encounter in this life.
Indeed doing so will harm you enormously in this life, in the grave and the Hereafter.
Allah knows best.
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