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Fatwa CenterWants to Marry Non-Muslim He Met Over Internet
Question
I met a girl through the internet and we decided that we want to get married. She will take shahada the day we get married (next month). I need you to tell me what should I do to keep a lawful marriage with my future wife, inshallah. I'm in the U.S and my parents are not here with me. Would it be ok if I just have their agreement over the phone. Also, she is from a non-Muslim family. Who in this case can be the WALI for her? Please provide me with what I need to know in order to have a marriege according to the Shari'a and the Sunnah. I need your help as soon as possible.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
Know dear brother, that the first and most important condition for choosing one's wife is her piety and her religiousness.
This is because religion guards the woman from committing sins and teaches her to stay away from bad deeds. The pious woman fears the Anger of Allah. So, she performs His Orders and avoids His Prohibitions, thus avoiding anything that could stain her honor. Allah Says (what means): {So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard.} [Quran 4:34]
Such a pious woman will undoubtedly raise her children in a good and appropriate Islamic way.
Whereas, the non-religious woman can fall into Satan's cunning very easily. She is not trustworthy as far as honor and husband and children's rights are concerned. This is why the Prophet said: “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, her family lineage, her beauty and her religion. So choose the religious one, you will prosper.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Now, the woman you contacted through Internet cannot be considered pious as long as she has not become a Muslim. In fact, her becoming Muslim should not be in return for your marrying her. After becoming Muslim, she should adhere to all Islamic regulations such as wearing Hijaab, praying on time, giving up alcohol and never again mixing with non-Mahram men. If these conditions are met, they can be considered signs of her good Islam.
Know also that whoever gives up something for the sake of Allah, Allah will grant him something better. The Prophet said: “If you abandon something for the sake of Allah [because of it being forbidden], Allah will compensate you with something better than it." [Ahmad]
As for seeking the consent of your family before marrying her, it is not a condition. But it is appropriate to do so by listening to their opinion, and the telephone in this case is enough. Now, if you think that their opinion does not contradict the Sharee'ah, then you can act according to it, otherwise you may reject it. As for the Wali (guardian) of this woman if she becomes Muslim, it has to be a Muslim man as it is unlawful for a non-Muslim man to act as a Wali of a Muslim woman. In this case, she appoints a Muslim man to conduct the marriage contract in the presence of two Muslim witnesses. But it is better to make this contract in an Islamic Center as this makes the marriage more public.
Allah knows best.
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