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Fatwa CenterMuslim student behaving with her male co-students
Question
How can a Muslim student behave with her male colleagues?
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
The expression of "boy friend" or the similar words are adventitious expressions that are not familiar to Islamic culture so, a Muslim should replace them with the expressions that suit our faith such as the expression of "brother" etc. Therefore the question should be how a female student should deal with her "brothers".
The answer could be delivered in two ways; A) a short answer with briefs conditions; and B) a detailed answer.
In brief, dealing with males is permissible if there is any necessity. But know that a necessity is measured and estimated according to the situation. Therefore, one should involve in it only to the extent of necessity; this is to block the channels that could lead to evils, to cut off Satan's ways and also to protect a Muslim woman from what could harm her or disgrace her. For example, a girl/woman will deal with males in good fields in the limits of Shari'a. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {The believers, men and women, are Auliya' (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another; they enjoin (on the people) Al-Ma'ruf(i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden); …} [9: 71].
Here are some other detailed conditions in this regard:
1) A woman should be in her complete Hijab fulfilling all the conditions of a Hijab. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {… and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), …} [24: 31].
2) The men and women are both obliged to lower their gaze from looking at each other. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), …} [24: 30]. A man should not look at a woman with lust or without any necessity and vice versa. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), …} [24: 31].
3) Their talk should be normal, free from attraction and flirtation. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {… then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire…} [33: 32].
4) One should observe the good manners in his/her movements and actions. A woman should avoid rocking, swinging and making her walk attractive. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {… And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. …} [24: 31]. In the following Hadith the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) warned the people to observe modesty. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "There are two kinds of the inhabitants of the Hell whom I have not seen: One, persons holding whips like the tails of cows with which they will beat the people; and women who will have clothes on their persons, but will appear naked; and will twist their shoulders delicately and walk with waving motions…" . [ Muslim ].
5) No woman should stay alone with an alien man. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "You should avoid entering upon woman. A person from the Ansar asked the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam), what about the in-laws of a wife, he said: 'They are death'" . The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) also said: "Everyone who believes in Allah and in the Last Day should not stay alone with an alien woman, because Satan will be the third companion of them" . [ Ahmad ].
6) She should also keep away from using perfumes, scents, make up, etc. that could seduce men. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "If a woman uses perfume and passes the people so that they may get its odour, she is Zaniyah (adulteress/ fornicator)" .[ al-Hakim and considered its chain as sound].
7) It is strictly forbidden for a woman to touch or shake hands with an alien man. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle it would be better for him than touching a woman whom he is not permitted to touch" . [ al-Tabrani , the narrators of this chain are trustworthy].
The above are some rules and regulations every woman should comply with if she needs to deal with the opposite sex.
Allah knows best.
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