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Fatwa CenterParental consent in marriage
Question
Asslam-o-aleikum I am 32+ yrs old and want to get married. I've been asking my parents atleast for two years. But they, especially my father did not pay attention to it. Now I have found a Muslim girl here, but they are not accepting her. My question is how necessary is it to have the permission of parents to get married? It is important to note that there is no solid reason, just the ego; that why they (he is) are not involved in the decision. I personally feel very tempted towards sin and want to avoid committing any sin.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
It is obligatory upon every Muslim to obey his parents, to deal with them kindly and not to do anything that they would not approve of. There is no doubt that informing them about one's marriage, asking for their consent and involving them in the choice of one's wife are all forms of obeying them. In addition, it is known that whoever gets married without his parents' consent encounters many problems and difficulties that may cause him to live in discord with his family and parents.
Moreover, you should know that to abandon one's parents is a major form of disobedience and to describe them as egocentric is inappropriate to say the least.
It would have been easier and more suitable for you to have involved them in your decision from the very outset. We now advise you to discuss this matter with them in a kinder way, asking their opinion on this issue. Again, know that any reservations they have or any opinion they give are with good intentions, as parents are always keen on providing the most comfort and happiness to their children. Allaah Says (what means): {So fear Allaah as much as you can.}[Quran 64:16]
We ask Allaah to grant you success and protect you from temptations. But, if all the good efforts do not succeed, and the issue reaches the point of conflict and you cannot be patient enough to fulfill their demands, then protecting your religion and chastity takes precedence over obeying your parents. The Prophet 
, said: “There is (to be) no obedience to anyone in disobedience to Allaah.”
Allaah Knows best.
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