Assalamu Alaikum, I have been having such a hard time in finding someone to help me out in answering my questions, but, Alhamdu lillah, a friend recommended your site and I will, Insha Allah, finally be at rest with answers and, Insha Allah, be able to change my life for the best. I am a Muslim girl, 25 years old. I spent my adolescence and adult life in North America, which was the main cause of my troubles. After facing a few personal problems and drifting into the wrong path, I finally found the right path and started to pray, Alhamdu Lillah and becoming closer to my religion by learning Arabic well and being able to read Qur'an with little difficulty. I am ashamed to say, but I lost my virginity at the age of 20 to the man I loved. My father was against our marriage because of cultural differences, even though he was Muslim. I am now happy that the marriage didn't go through because even though he was a good person, he was not a good Muslim and might have led me into the wrong path. Now, even though I prayed and did all my duties towards Allah, I unfortunately still practice sex out of wedlock. I prayed Nawaafel last night and promised that I will never have sex again until I get married. Now for my question:- What do I do so I can clean myself from this big sin? I have so many plans for my future and I do not want them to be ruined because of my past and because Allah is not happy with me. I pray around 20 or more Rakaat of Nawaafel and do Du'a everyday, as much as I can. I no longer have a social life and have stopped contact with everything and everyone who will lead me to sin. Is that enough? How do I convince my boyfriend who I love so much that what he is doing is Haram? Is it Halal or Haram for me to have an operation to reconstruct my hymen and make me a virgin again physically. This will save me and my family from Fadeeha and will make a good impression on my children and husband in the future, Insha Allah. I hope I have not taken much of your time and, Insha Allah, your help to Muslims and non-Muslims will be rewarded.

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, as you know, Allah has made lawful to his servants what preserves their lives from any nuisances. Forbidding Zina (fornication and adultery) which is one of the most shameful and destructive acts is part of this code.

Allah Says (what means): {And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.} [Quran 17: 32]

You should know also, may Allaah bless you, that the punishment in this worldly life is nothing compared to the punishment in the Hereafter. Shame in this life is much easier than Shame in the Hereafter in front of all the people. Remember that Allah knows everything that one does in this worldly life. Nothing is kept hidden from Him on the Day of Judgement.

What would you say to Allah when you stand before Him and He asks you about your deeds in this worldly life?

The least you should do now is to immediately stop committing this major sin. If you do so, Allah will forgive you.

Allah Says (what means): {And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.} [Quran 24: 31]

Allah also Says (what means): {Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”} [Quran 39: 53]

So, no one should give into despair. Do not be pessimistic; just repent to Allah from this major sin, and from then on, follow the right path.

Allah also Says (what means): {And return [in repentance] to your Lord and submit to Him before the punishment comes upon you; then you will not be helped. And follow the best of what was revealed to you from your Lord before the punishment comes upon you suddenly while you do not perceive, Lest a soul should say, "Oh [how great is] my regret over what I neglected in regard to Allah and that I was among the mockers." Or [lest] it say when it sees the punishment, "If only I had another turn so I could be among the doers of good."} [Quran 39: 54-58]

So, hurry now before it is too late, then remorse will not be of any help –when the person flees from his brother, his mother, his father, his wife, his children, at that moment every one will have enough to make him careless of others. At that moment you will be judged for what you have done.

On the other hand, the pleasure one gets from illegal sexual intercourse ends very quickly after having enslaved him/her and driven them to the bad path.

The person regrets this act in this life or will regret it more in the Hereafter. Again, repent! Repent! From this sin and ask forgiveness from Allah. Break your relation with people who are enslaved by their appetites for pleasure.

Return in repentance to Allah and say: {I hastened to you, O my Lord, that you might be pleased.} [Quran 20: 84]

Take care of yourself and you will not be asked about sins of other people. Do not bother yourself about the consequences that might occur if you break your relations with that person or another. If that person masturbates or does other evil acts, he will be punished for them. Moreover, we advise you to break all ties with such people.

You know that a person who does not protect the honor of a Muslim woman will not protect the honor of any other woman.

Whatever he does with you, he does with other women, especially if it can be done easily. You disclose that some of them are married but they cheat on their wives; they are not true to them. May Allah protect us all. Ask Allah to give you a happy life with a good husband who protects you, your religion and your honor.

As for reconstructing your hymen to become virgin again, this is unlawful because this is cheating the husband as stated by the Muslim scholars if you were deflowered by an illegal act i.e. Zina.

We advise you to turn again to Allah and look for a good husband.

You should talk to him openly and disclose this matter, telling him at the same time that you have repented and prove this by performing only good deeds. Such a good husband will not punish you for your past.

In addition, I advise you and those who are confronted by such challenges, to leave the land of disbelief for the land of belief as it is forbidden to stay there unless there is a good reason to do so, such as preaching, or studying something not found in Muslim countries. Last, but not least, I ask Allah to protect you, to accept your repentance, and to bless you with a righteous husband.

It is He Who hears all things, and is ever near.

Allah knows best.