Assalaamu alaykum. How can we reconcile between the hadith that relates that the Prophet, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, forbade forced marriages and the sayings of scholars that you can marry a young girl before she becomes a woman (becomes mature) even if she does not want to do so.
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
The evidence on the permissibility of marrying off young girls is the verse that reads (what means): {And those who no longer expect menstruation among your women - if you doubt, then their waiting period is three months, and (also for) those who have not menstruated.} [Quran 65:4] The verse states that the ʻiddah (waiting period) of the woman who has not started menstruating yet is three months. Since the ʻiddah is observed by the woman in case of divorce or annulment of the marriage contract, then this proves that the guardian is allowed to marry off the young girl under his guardianship.
It has been authentically reported that the Prophet, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, married ʻAa'ishah when she was six. She said, “The Prophet, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, married me when I was six, and he consummated the marriage with me when I was nine.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Although scholars stated that it is permissible for the guardian to marry off the young girl under his guardianship, the marriage must not be consummated except after she reaches an age at which she can endure intercourse. An-Nawawi wrote, “Maalik, Ash-Shaafiʻi, and Abu Haneefah held that the criterion in this regard is that the girl can endure sexual intercourse. This varies from one girl to another; so no age limit can be set. This is the correct view in this regard.” [Sharh Muslim]
It is preferable, though, for a guardian not to marry off a young girl unless there is a likely benefit in doing that. An-Nawawi wrote, “Ash-Shaafiʻi said that it is preferable for the father not to marry off a virgin until she reaches puberty and he asks her permission.” [Rawdhat At-Taalibeen]
There is no contradiction between the verse: {and those who have not menstruated} [Quran 65:4], which indicates the permissibility of marrying off a young girl, and the hadeeth that reads, “A virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission is sought.” [Al-Bukhari] The indication of the hadeeth is general while the verse refers particularly to the young girl who has not reached puberty because she is not qualified to be asked for permission. Ibn Battaal wrote, “...Ibn Al-Munthir said, ‘This hadeeth about the marriage of the Prophet, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, to ʻAa'ishah, proves that the other hadeeth in which he forbade giving a virgin in marriage without seeking her permission refers to the adult virgin who is qualified to be asked for permission. It has been established in the Sunnah that the father is allowed to conduct the marriage of his young daughter who is too young to be asked for her permission.’” [Sharh Saheeh Al-Bukhari]
Ibn Battaal commented on the hadeeth that was narrated by ʻAa'ishah which reads, “O Messenger of Allaah! A virgin feels shy.' He, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, said, 'Her consent is (expressed by) her silence.”, “This hadeeth proves that the virgin girl whose consent is legislatively required is the adult virgin; otherwise, there would be no point in seeking her consent, and her silence or refusal would be the same.”
Ash-Shawkaani wrote, “The virgin whose consent of the marriage must be sought is the adult (who reached puberty); there is no point in seeking the consent of a young girl because she does not understand the concept of consent in this context.” [Nayl Al-Awtaar]
In any case, the scholars held different opinions regarding marrying off the young girls under one's guardianship; the scholars weighed the views in this regard and discussed the evidence in detail in the books of Fiqh and research papers.
Lastly, we would like to underline that the scholars held different views regarding the ruling on the father seeking the permission of his adult virgin daughter, let alone the young girl, before marrying her off. The Kuwaiti Encyclopedia of Islamic Jurisprudence reads, “It is legislatively required for the guardian to seek the permission of the woman under his guardianship before marrying her off. It is obligatory according to the scholarly consensus as far as the sane adult previously-married woman is concerned and recommended according to the majority of scholars as far as the sane adult virgin girl is concerned. The Hanafis held that it is obligatory for the sane adult virgin girl as well...”
The Kuwaiti Encyclopedia also reads, “According to the Maalikis, Shaafiʻis, and the preponderant view of the Hanbalis, the reason for deeming it allowable for the guardian to marry off his daughter to an eligible man without her consent is her virginity; therefore, he is entitled to conduct the marriage of the sane adult virgin girl under his guardianship without her consent, like the case of a young girl...”
Allaah knows best.
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