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Fatwa CenterHer husband does not live with her without a valid reason
Question
Assalaamu alaykum. My question is about a husband being away from his wife without valid reasons. My husband allowed me to move from his state to be with my son in another state. I assumed that he would be joining us shortly after since he does not have a job currently (or family) in his state; he is just working odd jobs. Alhamdulillah, Allaah has blessed me with a job where I can easily support both of us if he were to come here to look for a job. My husband will not accept my help and will only come here after he earns enough money to support himself here for at least a month. Right now, he is not providing any support to me and living away from me. I am into the third month of living here by myself for, what I feel, no reason. Since I am a revert to Islam, my family does not help me, and I have had to take on every task myself including moving heavy furniture and carrying/lifting heavy things for big distances into my home, which is physically exhausting and very hard on me. I just wonder if it is valid for my husband to stay away from me on the premise of making money when he is a) not supporting me or my son anyway and b) I have the means to support us until he finds a job in my state. I fear that my marriage will end over this due to growing resentment for him for choosing to be away from me when he does not have to be. May Allaah reward you for your help.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we would like to congratulate you for the blessing of embracing Islam; verily, this is a great blessing that entails expressing gratitude to Allaah by seeking useful knowledge and carrying out righteous deeds.
There is no doubt that whenever the husband can keep his wife with him in the country of his residence, it is for the best as through that he helps himself and her to preserve their chastity and he can take care of her and his children, especially given that people’s lifetimes are limited and no one knows what misfortunes may happen; may Allaah safeguard us all.
If there is a real need for the husband to leave his family in a country other than his country of residence, then there is no harm in that provided that he does not fall short in fulfilling his family’s rights over him. He must provide them with a safe accommodation and provide for them according to his financial ability. Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {Let a man of wealth spend from his wealth, and he whose provision is restricted - let him spend from what Allaah has given him. Allaah does not charge a soul except [according to] what He has given it. Allaah will bring about, after hardship, ease.} [Quran 65:7]
It should be noted that it is impermissible for the husband to stay away from his wife for more than six months except with her consent, as highlighted in fatwa 85711.
If the wife provided for herself and her children while expecting to get this money back later on, then she is entitled to demand this money from her husband as underlined in fatwa 85012.
Anyway, we advise you to be patient to the best of your ability and to keenly and wisely advise your husband in light of what we mentioned above. You should also frequently supplicate Allaah to unite your family in one place. As for the divorce, you are entitled to demand a divorce if the situation causes harm to you; however, you should know that a divorce might not be the optimal solution all the time. You are advised to opt for a divorce only when you believe that it is likely to bring about the most benefit. Please refer to fatwa 131953 about the valid reasons for asking for a divorce.
Allaah knows best.
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