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Fatwa CenterHow children should defend themselves against bullying
Question
I have a query regarding bullying.My son is 4 yr old and quite shy and emotional. He has friends who at times bully him..by either pushing or hiting him or calling him a bad boy and since he is really reserved kind he doesn't fight back instead he just become quiet or cries his heart out. Now my question is what should I tell him to do..should I tell him to fight or hit back in self defense?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
Bullying (aggression) in children is caused by children observing wrongful conduct in others as educators and behavior scientists have said. One of the main causes in present times is children watching violent movies and the like, and then impulsively imitating them.
With regard to a child defending himself against the aggression of others, some education consultants from our website mentioned the following guidelines in this regard:
"We should first teach the child to defend himself, and secondly, teach him that a Muslim is orderly and does not seek his rights with his own hand, but he refuses to be beaten and rejects aggression, and he always tries to communicate with his elders – if he is at school or kindergarten. So we teach him that a person seeks his rights but in the proper manner. If this aggression is minor and he wishes to forgive and pardon, then he may do so, but if the aggression is repeated against him, then we should clarify to him these things in the simplest manner. What is important is not to be irritable about what has happened, and not to exaggerate it out of proportion."
It was also mentioned that one should monitor children while they are playing, and stop anyone who is at fault in a gentle and soft manner.
Allaah Knows best.
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