Home
Discover Islam
Quran Recitations
Lectures
Fatwa
Articles
Fiqh
E-Books
Women
Boys & Girls 
Enter Question
View By Subject
Fatwa Of The Week
Selected Fatwa
Fatwa CenterWife should not obey husband in cutting ties with son
Question
asalamu alaikum wa rahamatulla, sheikh,my elder brother who is 33 years old, had got married against my parents wishes.he got married to a christian women .. seven years ago he fell in love with this women ,he expressed his desire to marry her,but my parents got angry and expressed their denial and said if he marries her then he should leave us. adviced him how important it is to marry a pious muslim women..later he agreed to marry the muslim pious girl which we choose for him, he promised us he will forget everything about his previous love affair. he was happy with his engagement proposal..he made the marriage preparation all by himself..he personally went and invited our relatives and friends..but just a week before marriage, he denied to get married with his muslim fiance and stopped the marriage without telling of his secret intention to marry that Christian girl..my parents were disgraced, inspite of my parents begging him not to stop the marriage. then after a year he got married to that christian girl. from that time ownwards my dad hated him so much,he wont even accept him as his son. he also commanded us to cut off ties from him.hence all of the relatives did so, but i, my sister and my mother have secret contacts with him.. sheikh i want to know is it necessary for my mom to obey her husband command.will she and i will be sinful for diobeying my father.we know the severity of allahs punishment for cutting ties of kinship.we can remind him of his obligation towards allah ,and we have the chances to bring him and his wife to the correct path and reunite with us ..if allah wills. please advice us..
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
If your brother did not fear temptation, then he should have married the girl whom his parents chose for him to please them and as an act of dutifulness towards them. But if he feared for himself falling into temptation with this woman whom he loved and therefore he married her in order to preserve his religiosity, giving priority to obedience to Allaah over obedience to parents, then hopefully there is no harm in that. Please refer to Fataawa 125243 and 84942 about the limits of the children’s obedience to their parents.
Lastly, we advise your brother to strive to earn his parents’ pleasure. And we advise you to try your best to reconcile between him and your father. Reconciliation is certainly the best option. Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {No good is there in much of their private conversation, except for those who enjoin charity or that which is right or conciliation between people. And whoever does that seeking means to the approval of Allaah - then We are going to give him a great reward.} [Quran 4:114]
Abu Ad-Dardaa’ 
reported that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Shall I tell you an what is greater in rank than fasting, prayer, and offering charity? The people replied, ‘Yes!’ He, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Reconciling discord among people; verily, discord among people is the shaver (i.e. destructive to faith).” [Ahmad and Abu Daawood] Anther narration reads: "Beware of sowing discord among people for it is the shaver.” [At-Tirmithi]
Allaah Knows best.
Search Fatwa
Fatwa Subject
