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Fatwa CenterYou have apparently become irrevocably divorced with major separation
Question
My husband and I have a difficult relationship, however we want to be together but we are still doubts whether we can .I'm 23 years younger than him and my immaturity has not helped us In May 2014 I was very nervous because he was going on a trip to Saudi Arabia and asked him to give me a divorce and I was menstruating at the time, only that our divorce lasted a few days before votlar of Saudi Arabia and a well already esatavamos week of your return we were already together. In this situation of menstruation and the way it was counted as a valid divorce? Because I read fatwa that when the woman is menstruating divorce not worth The second time we fight a lot because he disappeared when he called days later and I said horrible things to him that getting very nervous and said I was divorced at that time discovered that disappeared because it was admitted to the hospital again this divorce was a few days. There are two weeks fight seriously and I said very ugly cosias, including that I would betray him with another man, Astafiruallah he immediately gave me the divorce by saying three times in text message on mobile entretando past few days, still enjoying it each other and want to be together, but as Allah is most important not want to commit sin getting together Gentlemen scholars believe that my first dvorcio was not valid, because of menstruation and fatwas read about it, and maybe the third because he said three times that I was divorced and was very nervous about the words I said. They can say what can we do? We have a married life yet?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
A woman being in menses does not preclude divorce from taking place according to the view of the majority of the scholars, which to us is the preferred opinion. The fact that you read a statement that says that the divorce was not effective does not mean that divorce did not take place. Please refer to Fatwa 81864.
The second divorce is effective.
As regards divorce by text messaging, writing the word divorce is a Kinaayah (an indirect pronouncement) of divorce, and it takes effect if the husband intended it. Please refer to Fataawa 87034 and 89894.
Also, three successive pronouncements of divorce is effectively three divorces according to the view of the majority of the scholars. This is also the view we consider to be the preponderant one as we have discussed in Fataawa 168591 and 82330. Also, not every form of anger precludes divorce from taking place; rather, we elaborated on this in Fatwa 83467.
Based on the above, it is possible that you have become irrevocably divorced from your husband with major separation. You should consult an authority that is specialized in investigating the personal matters of the Muslims, like the Islamic Centers, or orally ask the Imaams whom you trust and who are known for their knowledge and piety in your country so that they ask the husband about the details needed to issue a ruling regarding your case.
Finally, it should be noted that it is a very serious matter for a wife to provoke her husband, or for the husband to be hasty in issuing divorce in order to solve the problem with his wife. Married life should be based on mutual respect between both spouses and each spouse should consider the status of the other and fulfill one's duty toward the other. It is based on this that the stability and happiness of the family is achieved.
For more benefit on the duties and rights of the husband and wife with respect to each other, please refer to Fataawa 85308 and 85167.
Allaah Knows best.
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