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Fatwa CenterHer mother-in-law interferes in running the household
Question
Assalamu-alaykum, I know my husbands first duty,obedience and respect is to his mother as mine is to him in all things compliant with Shariah off-course,but what I would like to know from a purely islamic point of view is if my mother-inlaw has her own house in another town,and she comes to visit and stay be her sons house anywhere between one week and one month,does she have more rights than me on what changes should be made in the house,how it should be cleaned,and run etc....I have been married for 14 years and have 6 children and off-course am in charge of the house and household affairs and have always treated her with love honour and respect as well teaching my kids to also.Jazakallah
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His Slave and Messenger.
First of all, we thank you for treating your mother-in-law with love and respect and for instilling this in your children. This indicates your sound judgment, noble character, and good manners. This is also a manifestation of your dutifulness towards your husband and it helps achieve stability in your marriage; may Allaah reward you for that.
There is no harm if a mother visits her son anytime and stays with him for as long as she wishes. On the other hand, you are entitled to have a separate quarters in the house so that the presence of your mother-in-law, or any other person, does not harm you. The Maaliki scholar Ad-Dardeer 
wrote, “The wife is entitled to refuse to live with the husband’s relatives, like his parents, in the same house because of the harm incurred upon her; as this would constitute infringement of her privacy.” [Ash-Sharh Al-Kabeer]
However, if the house is big enough, you can allocate a separate quarters with its facilities for your mother-in-law where she can be comfortable and pleased. You, as a wife, would be in another separate part and you would not feel uncomfortable. However, since her stay with you is only temporary, it may be better not to bring up this issue with your husband or complain about it so as not to incur unfavorable consequences.
Also, if the house is the property of her son, and she ordered changes to be made that are beneficial and incur no harm upon him, then he is obliged to obey her because this constitutes obedience in what is lawful. Please refer to Fatwa 131695 about the limits of obedience to parents. In this case, his obedience to her does not involve neglect of his duties toward you.
Finally, she has no right to interfere in your personal matters such as your private possessions, your bedroom, and the like. We would like to emphasize what we said before: that you should have patience during her period of stay in your house to avoid any evil consequences.
Allaah Knows best.
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