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Parents demanding their married son to support his lazy brother

Question

As Salam Alaikum, For the past 10 yrs my husband's parents have been insisting to the point of demanding that my husband bear the expenses of their younger lazy, healthy, normal, adult son & his family along with them & their unmarried daughter. They have spent almost all their own money on their lazy son & now want my husband to bear all expenses. They never give anything to us nor do we have a single room in the ancestral house where all live but we are told to stay in a hotel if we plan to visit them as there is no space. There are many lies told & fake affection shown just to get more money out of my husband. Pls advice as we are mentally exhausted on how to solve this as per Islamic laws. JazakAllah

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His Slave and Messenger.

There is great dispute among the scholars about the ruling on providing for relatives, including brothers. The strongest opinion in our view is that of the Hanbali School of jurisprudence - that it is an obligation to provide for them under certain conditions. Ibn Qudaamah  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said: “The adopted view of our (Hanbali) School is that an heir (i.e. a potential heir) is obligated to spend on his relative if he is entitled to inherit from his estate (in case of his death)." Before that, he mentioned three conditions under which one is obligated to spend on his relative saying: “First, that he [the relative] is poor, having no wealth or earning potential; second, that the one who is obliged to provide maintenance has extra money after providing for himself, either from his wealth or his income; thirdly, that the one who provides maintenance is a legitimate heir [in case his poor relative dies].” [End of quote]

Based on this, it should be realized that your husband is not obliged to support his brother because he is excluded from inheriting from him because of the existence of the father. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 147839 and 85715.

However, if your husband wants to be kind and dutiful to his parents by helping his brother, then this is good. It should be enough for you if your husband fulfills his obligations towards you and your children. Indeed, the right of the parents is great, but it would be good for the parents not to help their lazy son to be a burden on others, and they should not be a nuisance to your husband by overburdening him to do more than he is able. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 181219.

The lazy brother should be advised to work and endeavor to make a living for himself. In addition, the Ahaadeeth about the virtue of seeking one’s own livelihood should be clarified for him. Al-Miqdaam  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "The best food a person eats is that which he earns with his own hands, and the Prophet Daawood (David)  may  Allaah  exalt  his  mention used to eat from what he earned with his own hands." [Al-Bukhari]

Finally, we would like to comment on the house inherited from the ancestors: if your husband has a share in it, then he has the right to claim his share.

Allaah Knows best.

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