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Fatwa CenterA complicated case of divorce
Question
We got married last year. I live in UAE and my husband in the USA, as our reception is yet to happen. In Feb, we had a fight and I end up asking my husband for separation, he didn’t divorce me, but messaged "i free you from me for your benefit". In Mar, we had another argument and he sent me an email saying divorce, divorce, divrce….& that time I was in my menses. After a day, he called me to meet him. Just before my departure we again went into an argument and he sent me an email writing “divorce” this time I was in purity. While we were together, we fought again and he said he freed me from all the obligations towards him and I may go back, I was not in purity as we slept together last night. He stopped me & said he never intended anything. After coming back to Dubai, we had another argument on email, both of us were angry & frustrated over a family issue. In disappointment we both agreed to get separated through an agreement (of divorce) (None of us had an intention of divorce). Just to make him realize what he was doing I asked him to have an intention of divorcing me. He said he will sign on the below matter in a few hours and send, also asked me to sign to complete the process. "This is to confirm that on this day of 17th Apr 2013, the marriage contract between I, Mohammad and xyz has been ended and both have decide to enter into a divorce agreement effective today. This contract is void any obligations that both may have as husband and wife towards each other. And effective immediately no obligation is deemed to be outstanding as both are out of this relationship or any commitment henceforth. On 18 April my husband thought if it was the first divorce or was one that could be recovered, he thought about recovering it at that time. Later,I denied signing the letter. My husband says he never counted any of our previous fights as divorce, as he never had that intention but on 17 April he did intend. I don't want to leave him, we are in a big confusion.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
Marriage is one of the Rituals of Allaah and one of His Signs, and it is a strong covenant between the spouses as Allaah says (what means): {And how could you take it while you have gone in unto each other and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?}[Quran 4:21] Also, it is confirmed that the Prophet said: "Fear Allaah concerning your wives; you have taken them with the trust of Allaah and you made their private parts lawful to you with the words of Allaah.” [Muslim]
Therefore, it is not permissible to play with this marriage and repeatedly use the words of divorce, whether verbally or in writing, as Allaah says (what means): {And when you divorce women and they have [nearly] fulfilled their term, either retain them according to acceptable terms or release them according to acceptable terms, and do not keep them, intending harm, to transgress [against them]. And whoever does that has certainly wronged himself. And do not take the verses of Allaah in jest...}[Quran 2:231]
It is strange that this happens while the two spouses are only at the beginning of their marital life (and the marriage reception has not yet taken place as you have mentioned). Marriage is tranquility, peace, love and mercy. This is how marriage should be; therefore if the spouses cannot live together according to acceptable terms, then they should be divorced according to acceptable terms.
Anyway, your question contains many incidents and implications, so it would be futile to answer it. It is more appropriate to take the matter to Islamic courts if you are in a Muslim country or to Islamic Centers if you are in a non-Muslim country or consult orally one of the scholars.
Allaah Knows best.
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