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She is engaged, but she loves another married man

Question

assalamu alaikum.... i m 24yrs old girl... i was in love with one of my friend.. he s also a good muslim.. our parents engaged us.... but now i m in love with a man who is already married... i dnt know whom i should marryy... now i came to know past love is just a infactuation.. i want to live with tha married person... my parents wont allow me.. what can i do now.. 2nd person is also a muslim... he teaches many things about islam to me.. i hope my life will be happy with him oly... plz help me...

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, it is appropriate to clarify the issue of love before marriage; as some of it is not a sin while some other is forbidden. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 84444 and 120630. However, if this love leads to a relationship or forbidden matters, the person becomes sinful for it and he/she should avoid it and take the initiative to repent.

On the other hand, the criteria for choosing a spouse is religion and good moral conduct as clarified in Fatwa 85252. Therefore, the best one to marry among these two men in the best in his religion and moral conduct if you expect that your marital relationship with him will last, even if he is already married. The fact that a man is married is not a deficiency that justifies rejecting him.

On the other hand, the relatives of the girl, even if it is her parents have no right to prevent her from marrying someone whom she wants to marry unless there is a sound reason for their refusal.

It should be mentioned here that the Istikhaarah prayer should be performed so that one puts the matter in the Hands of Allaah, the All-Knower, the Omnipotent. Indeed, He is the One Who knows the unseen and He is the One Who facilitates the matters. For more benefit on Istikhaarah about marriage, please refer to Fatwa 81434.

Finally, it should be mentioned that an engagement is just a promise of marriage, so each party has the right to invalidate it whenever he/she wishes. But it is more appropriate not to invalidate it without a sound reason.

Allaah Knows best.

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