My husband and I fight all the time over the fact that he is a womanizer and a liar. He always feel the need to be wanted, I have caught him several times and forgave him because he says nothing happened. Over the past I have always said for us to go our separate ways, or ask him to divorce me, he never stated the words I divorce you but once, and I ended going back. I have asked for forgiveness for asking for the divorce and I am still praying for Allah to forgive me. I told my husband that I would not forgive him if I catch him again and I wouldn’t stay. Well he is back to his habits and I am tired of being hurt, we have kids together and I don’t want to keep going through this I don’t want to be in this marriage anymore as a Muslim woman what do I do I need guidance soon…
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
If what you mentioned in the question is true that your husband lies and establishes illegal relationship with some women, then he is sinful. The sin is even greater and more abominable if it is a married man who has girlfriends. Therefore, we advise you to continue admonishing him and reminding him about the Punishment of Allaah. Besides, you should beautify yourself to him so that he would not find a need to look at other women. Moreover, you should not forget to supplicate Allaah to guide him. If he repents and becomes righteous, then praise be to Allaah, otherwise you have the right to ask for divorce. If he accepts and divorces you, then praise be to Allaah, otherwise you may pay him compensation in return for Khul’; for more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 89039 and 85031.
As regards the statement of a husband to his wife ‘I divorce you’ in the present tense, then divorce does not take place with this expression unless the husband intended divorce, because this expression is a metaphor of divorce and not a clear statement of divorce; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 92476.
Allaah Knows best.
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