People are naturally inclined towards gatherings, where they exchange experiences, hold consultations, and share ideas.  Humanity has engaged in gatherings since its earliest days on this planet.

Rarely does a day pass without individuals participating in one or more gatherings. These gatherings vary based on people’s inclinations, interests, and aspirations. They are an integral part of human life and nature, stemming from the inherent desire for companionship and the comfort of social interaction.

The gatherings of believers and their conversations should aim to benefit the community and improve lives. Allah, the Almighty, says: “No good is there in much of their private conversation, except for those who enjoin charity or that which is right or conciliation between people.” [Quran 4:114]

We must recognize that time is too valuable to be wasted in prolonged gatherings that offer no benefit to the participants.  It is essential to manage our time in gatherings to refresh our spirits and relax, but without excess. When a gathering turns to idle talk and triviality, it becomes crucial to steer the conversation toward something beneficial for those present.  Do not passively participate in such gatherings, for each of us is accountable for our words.

A noteworthy example of redirecting idle talk to something useful in a polite and noble manner comes from Sheikh Abdu-r-Rahman As-Sa‘di (may Allah have mercy on him). It is said that when he attended a gathering, he would discreetly tell one of his accompanying students of knowledge, “If you hear the attendees speaking about people’s faults or engaging in empty talk, ask me a question or bring up a religious or scholarly topic, and I will answer it.”

This approach teaches us how to make gatherings beneficial, manage conversations effectively, enrich listeners, and fulfill our purpose in life. By doing so, our gatherings bear fruit, such as caring for the vulnerable, checking on the youth, visiting the sick, and other acts that benefit the community and bring goodness to the entire neighborhood.

Muslim gatherings should be based on sincere advice, spreading virtues, and supporting the truth.  They are gatherings where individuals uphold justice, collaborate for good, and support the oppressed. These gatherings are filled with the remembrance of Allah and are enriched by the legacy of the Muslim nation. Discussions in such gatherings focus on important matters, whether related to literature or various aspects of life. Even when they include entertainment and lightheartedness, they should never depart from the bounds of decency and proper etiquette. Al-Ahnaf Ibn Qays said, “Keep our gatherings free from talk about women and food, for I dislike someone who is overly descriptive about the desires of their private parts and their stomach.”

Gatherings should be characterized by dignity and involve people of strong moral character. While there is no harm in mentioning women in the context of respectful poetic admiration, the discussion must not descend into inappropriate or indecent talk about women.  Similarly, the focus should not center on types of food or other trivial matters. Instead, gatherings should aim for beneficial discussions, cultural enrichment, and the sharing of valuable life experiences.

It is also essential for participants in gatherings to exhibit good manners, avoid mocking others, show consideration for those present, and overlook any mistakes or shortcomings that may arise among the attendees. These are well-established etiquettes, and it is often preferable for gatherings to be planned in advance to ensure that all attendees benefit and contribute meaningfully.

Since it is common for people to become less restrained in gatherings, following their eyes and tongues without discipline, they may fall into prohibited behavior without realizing that this endangers their own souls. For this reason, the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) provided guidance on the dangers of unrestrained gazes and speech, especially in gatherings held in public places. The noble Companion Abu Sa‘id Al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Beware of sitting on the roads.” They said, “O Messenger of Allah, we have no alternative but to sit and converse in these gatherings.” He said, “If you must gather, then give the road its rights.” They said, “What are the rights of the road, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Lowering the gaze, refraining from causing harm, returning greetings of peace, enjoining what is right, and forbidding what is wrong.” [Al-Bukhari]