Has doubts about the number of divorces he has delivered
31-10-2006 | IslamWeb
Question:
My family and I have a concern about the number of divorces between the husband and wife. The first time, husband was angry with wife but could not remember the word “talaaq” in Arabic. He asked the wife “ How do you say divorce in Arabic?” The wife didn’t answer because she feared being divorced. The husband asked again “How do you say divorce in Arabic?” The wife again remained silent. The husband said “ Fine, I want a divorce.” He had intention to divorce the wife. The second time, husband was unhappy with the wife and said “Go back to your mother” with the intention of divorce. The wife said “Do you know what you are saying?” The husband replied “Yes. Leave and go back to your mother.” The wife was in iddah for two or three weeks before the husband took her back. The third time the husband was upset with the wife so he signed marriage dissolution papers and made his wife sign as a way to hurt her. The marriage papers were for a civil divorce in the U.S., they were never filed, and the husband had no intention to divorce the wife. The fourth time the husband had taken on a second wife and wanted the second wife to have the medical benefits from his job so he and his first wife signed marriage dissolution papers in the U.S. courts. Husband filed marriage paperwork to be married civilly to his second wife. The husband had no intention to divorce his first wife. The fifth time was during the court proceedings for the civil marriage dissolution of the husband and the first wife. The U.S. court asked both the husband and wife if they had tried everything to work out the marriage and if both husband and wife were certain that the marriage could not be saved and that they must dissolve the marriage. There were at least three witnesses. Both husband and wife said “Yes.” Husband had no intention of divorcing his wife.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
Our answer to your questions will be summarized in the following:
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The statement of a husband to his wife: "I want divorce", does not lead to divorce because willing something does not necessarily mean that it happens, as sometimes a person wants to do something but he really does not do it.
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The statement of a husband to his wife: "Go back to your mother.", is one of the metaphors of divorce, and divorce takes place if the husband intended it. According to the view of the majority of the scholars
if a husband divorces his wife a revocable divorce while she is still in her waiting period, divorce takes place, and if she is in her waiting period in an irrevocable divorce, then divorce does not take place. -
Writing the word divorce is one of the metaphors of divorce, so divorce does not take place unless one is resolved and determined to divorce, or if writing the word divorce is accompanied by uttering it.
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Regarding the answer of the husband by the word "yes" to a question posed to him, and whether or not he is considered to have divorced his wife, then according to the view of some scholars divorce takes place. On the other hand, some other scholars are of the view that divorce does not take place unless it is accompanied with the intention of divorcing his wife.
Therefore, these are general points in regard to some issues that are raised in the question. If some of the above really took place, then you should take the case to an institution which is specialized in looking to the personal matters of Muslims, like Islamic centres and the like. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 90056.
Finally, it should be noted that some terms and actions which the husband said or did with his wife are unacceptable, and this is playing with and being careless about an important matter about which one should not be careless about. In addition to this, some of this conduct could lead to spoiling other people's rights, so one should avoid doing this.
Allaah Knows best.