Wants a divorce but worried about her young daughter
21-11-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
I have no relation with my husband for more than three years. We are living in the same house but we don't even sit with each other. I hate him for what he is. I demanded divorce but he wants to keep torturing me and did not agree. I have a three years old daughter, if I go for 'Khula' I may lose her. I am educated and earning and more capable to look after her even now he is not paying anything for the daughter and me. I can't let him keep my daughter and ruin her future. If I go to the court he may harm us. Please advise what I should do.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
The husbands are obliged in Islamic legislation to treat their wives honourably. Allaah Says (which means): {And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them perhaps you dislike a thing and Allaah makes therein much good.}[Quran 4:19]. Allaah Says (which means): {…And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable.}[Quran 2:228]. So, if your husband is as you mentioned that he refuses to share the bed with you for all this period of time and left you suspended, neither widowed nor married, then he is indeed wrong. Despite this fact, we advise you to be patient and seek to reconcile with him, first by seeking Allaah's Help and then the help of the pious and righteous people. It might be that Allaah will reconcile between you in spite of the length of the period during which he refused to share the bed with you, and then you will live happily together; this is not impossible. So, we advise you to take into consideration your daughter's interest as divorce may badly affect her nurturing.
However, if it is not possible to reconcile, then do not hesitate to take the matter to an Islamic court which can relief you from this harm, and the judge will determine who is more appropriate and deserving of fostering the daughter when divorce takes place. However, if you fear that your husband will harm you after divorce, then you may inform the judge of this so that he will deter him from doing so.
Allaah Knows best.