Her husband lied to her, what to do?
19-10-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
Jazak Allaah Khair for your website, I rely on it! Al-Hamdulillah, I am an American convert to Islam. Lately I have been having problems in my marriage. My husband has been spending a lot of time with 2 friends he has had since school. One of them is in Jamaat Tableegh. Anyway, a few weeks ago my husband and these friends had lunch. And later they rented jet skis and spent some time riding on the sea. When my husband came home, I asked him if there had been any women on the beach. He said no and that they were lucky that the beach was empty when they went. I just found out yesterday that my husband lied to me. I over heard him talking to his friend on the speakerphone. He was criticizing the Tableeghi friend for chasing a British woman in a bikini on his jet ski. Aoozoo billahi! I confronted my husband and he admitted it was true. I just cannot believe he lied to me and put himself is such Fitnah. He thinks that as long as he was not chasing the woman, then he is not sinning. Please tell me how I can make my husband see his errors. And is there any Du'a to break his friendship with this harmful friends?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
First of all, we thank you for visiting our site and all perfect praise be to Allaah Who Guided you to Islam. We ask Him to make us firm and steadfast on this religion until we die.
As regards your question, lying is forbidden in principle, as the Prophet 
said: "Beware of lying, for lying leads to vice (wickedness, evil-doing), and vice leads to Hellfire, and a man continues to tell lies till he is written before Allaah, as a liar." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] Therefore, your husband should not have lied to you. Going to beaches and parks may expose a person to afflictions as you mentioned. So a Muslim should be cautious about this and he should choose the proper time to go. However, we would say that your husband is a good person as he admonished his friend and blamed him on what he did; this is evidence that he does the duty of enjoying good and forbidding evil. So this is really a good thing and you should consider this fact. However, if you see something in your husband that contradicts the Islamic Law, then you should advise him with wisdom and in a nice and soft manner without resorting to disputes and quarrels. The Prophet said to 'Aa'ishah 
: "You have to be kind and beware of being abusive or obscene." [Al-Bukhari]
If your husband's friends have committed a sin this does not necessarily mean that they are bad people. No matter how pious and righteous a Muslim is, he may still commit an act of disobedience, as the Prophet said: "Indeed all of the children of Aadam commit sins, but the best of them are those who repent." [At-Tirmithi]
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 83157 and 88304 on the rights of spouses.
Allaah Knows best.