Wants to live far from his parents who caused him problems
22-9-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
I am 28 years old, I would like to ask question regarding my parents.
My mother and father are very careless, they don't have any love and affection for us. My mother only cares for money. I work in a private company, when I get my salary she will demand to give me my full salary and she will not care for us.
She will never ask me about my problems, about my life and advise me for anything. She does not even pray for us.
I planned to get married so she told me that to go with her to India and get married. I went with her to India and she found a girl for me but without enquiring much about her I married her. After marriage I found that she had a firm belief in magic and her parents used to visit the magicians for her visa, job and also so that she can stay happily with me. But I used to get very much affected by the magic, so I requested my wife's parents not to do it. They say that the baba (the pious person) is only reciting the Du'a. I told them that we can pray for ourselves and no need for the pious person.
But they continued to do it so, the magic was unbearable for me so I divorced her. Now she is trying to hit be back by doing black magic.
But my real question is my parents are not bothered about me, they only care for money and don't talk anything with love.
I want to leave my parents house and stay separately. I don't want to have any relation with them because of my mother I had been I am a very big trouble. My life has changed and I am not the same person anymore, I don't meet my friends, I don't stay happy anymore.
Can you please tell me what to do, I don't like my parents but I fear Allaah and stay with them and support them financially but they interfere in my life and spoil it. I don't want to do any such thing that Allaah will get angry with me and punish me. Can you please advise me what to do?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
You probably know that the parents have a great right on their children and Allaah paralleled His Right with the right of the parents in the Quran to show their great status, Allaah Says (which means): {And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents…}[Quran 17:23]. It is also confirmed that the Prophet 
said: "The parent is the middle door of said: "How wonderful is the case of a believer! There is good in everything that Allaah decrees for him." [Abu Ya'laa]
We advise you to supplicate Allaah as much as possible to turn your parents into righteous people, and endeavour in advising them in good and soft words, and seek the help of whoever might influence them, as Allaah may soften their hearts and so, they will treat you kindly. Generally, the parents tend to be affectionate and merciful to their children.
However, if they harm you to an extent that you can no longer bear it, or fear to cut relations with them because of it, then there is no harm on you, Inshaa' Allaah, to move away and leave far from them even if they are displeased about it. This is not considered as cutting relations with them. This of course in case you are not going to greatly harm them by living far away from them. If so, then you have to be patient with them and endeavour to control your own self in staying and living with them. In all cases, you are obliged to be kind and dutiful to them and always find out about their situation.
Finally, it should be noted that it is not permissible to go to the magicians or to do magic, a Muslim has to be careful not to be deceived by those who pretend to be righteous while they are doing magic. A wise believer should be aware that magicians have a corrupt belief and a deviant behaviour.
Allaah Knows best.