Differs with her husband over controversial religious issues
17-9-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
I am a revert to Islam and my husband is a born Muslim. Al-Hamdulillaah, we both do our best to practice Islam but there have been rifts developing between my husband and I because we differ in our way of following Islam. While I try to follow strictly what Allaah says in the Quran and what the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, left us in his authentic Sunnah my husband does things which are outside the Sunnah. I have gently tried to discuss these things with him but he became angry with me. Also because I do not want photographs on display in the home because of the Hadeeth about the angels not visiting our home I have so gently and in good humour tried to broach the subject with my husband. He becomes so angry with me and shouts at me in a most intimidating way. He is a good man and I know he loves Allaah and the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, but I think his male ego gets between him and common sense. I am trying to deal with his outbursts with Sabr and Du'a to Allaah but it really upsets me and at times scares me. My questions are these, how can I best deal with his Bid'a and going against the Sunnah, bearing in mind I love him very much, do respect him and only want him to be successful in the Hereafter, so I do not want to even think of divorce. Also I have found that rather than bottling up ill feelings inside me I come to the computer and type what the anger in my heart is saying, then delete it, it seems to get rid of bad thoughts. Is this permissible, as I see blood red at first when he shouts at me and I find typing out my anger stops me from saying things that would make the situation worse.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
First of all, we thank Allaah Who guided you to Islam and we ask Him to make you firm and steadfast on His Religion until you die.
We advise you to seek religious knowledge and you should know that religion is divided into principles [foundations] and branches. The principles of religion are the knowledge of the creed and what a Muslim should believe about Allaah, His Prophets, the Last Day and so forth; whereas the branches of religion are the knowledge of practical religious subdivision rulings about the prayer, alms, Hajj and so on.
There is a consensus of the scholars on the principles and there is no possibility to differ in opinion about them; consequently, a person who has a different opinion on a given principle is not excused. As regards the branches of religion, some of them are proven by absolute evidence on which there is a consensus among the scholars
so it is not permissible to differ on them. Some other issues are not proven by absolute evidences and there is a big difference of opinion about them among the scholars. A scholar who differs on such an issue is excused and his opinion could not be rejected as we cannot deny a matter of Ijtihaad (a juristic opinion on matters which are not specified in the Quran or the Sunnah).
For instance the pictures that you have mentioned in your question, if they are statues then there is a consensus among the scholars about their prohibition if they are of animate objects. Like a human being and an animal, but if it is a photographic picture of a non-living beings, like trees, seas, and rivers, then it is permissible, but if this photographic picture is of animate objects, then this is a matter of a difference of opinion among the contemporary scholars, may Allaah protect them. The scholars who prohibited this took into account the general Prophetic narrations which prohibit making portraits or having statues at home, for instance the Prophet 
said: "Angels do not enter a house where there is a picture or a dog." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] The contemporary scholars, may Allaah preserve them, who are of this opinion, said that the reason of this being forbidden is due to imitating Allaah's creation. So according to them all kinds of pictures [and portraits] are forbidden with the exception of what is considered as a necessity like passport pictures and the like. Whereas the scholars, may Allaah preserve them, who permitted it said that taking a picture with a camera or a video camera is not imitating Allaah's creation, rather this is copying the image of what Allaah has created with a device; this is not an imitation and a person doesn't bring something new by himself in relation to the original shape of the creature. For instance if someone takes a paper with someone's writing and then photocopies it, it would not be said that he imitated the handwriting of the other person, rather it is the same writing. They also said that the Prophetic narrations that prohibit portrait making are those by which a person imitates Allaah's creation by making these portraits and images.
Therefore, such an issue and other issues are issues of Ijtihaad and you should not differ with your husband about them, as they should not be a reason of dispute and disagreements with your husband. So if your husband is of the view that pictures are permissible, he is excused and you do not have to oblige him or convince him with your opinion, and he does not have to oblige you to agree to his opinion as well. Each one of you could act according to his conviction [based on the difference of opinion of the scholars] and there is no harm on this.
Finally, we ask Allaah to enable both of you to do whatever He likes and He is pleased with, and we ask Him to reward you for controlling your anger when your husband is angry.
There is no harm on you as well for typing what you feel and then delete it, especially if this helps you to get rid of bad thoughts.
Allaah Knows best.