Spending on extravagant brother
21-6-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
I have a brother and he is getting married now and we are all helping him because all his money that he took from my parents after their death he spent it all. The problem is that he is showy and always wants expensive things he is also not thankful he takes everything as if it is a must to help him. He is now finishing his apartment and he got expensive things in it. I sometimes want to buy him things but I get the feeling that others are more needy than him specially that he is showy and sometimes spend money on showy things more than urgent ones. I am living abroad and want to buy him presents but I always get the feeling that there are poor who needs this money to eat rather than my brother but I need to add that when he ask for something I get it for him like vacuum kitchen machine all this staff.
Am I right in giving the money I wanted to buy him presents with to the poor or shall I buy him more out of Salat Ar-rahim?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
In general, being kind to relatives, especially the needy ones, is among the great acts of worship by which one gets closer to Allaah. If these relatives are in need, then they have priority over others unless there is greater benefit in giving priority to others before them.
As regards your brother, if his situation is as you mentioned that he is extravagant and a spendthrift, then you should advise him and remind him of Allaah as he will have to answer to Him about how he spent his money. Indeed, the Prophet clarified to us that every person is going to be asked (on the Day of Judgement) about how he spent his money. [At-Tirmithi]
So your brother should be reminded that there are poor Muslims who are more in need for the money than him spending it on trivial things.
However, it is permissible to give him some money and helping him, but you should balance between giving him and spending on the needy and destitute people.
Allaah Knows best.