Wants to be free from a dissolute marriage
19-5-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
I married my husband 10 years ago after 5 years of innocent love, the very first day of marriage he became a completely different personality, but I couldn't tell anybody because my family did not want me to marry him at the first place because of social differences. Anyway, I accepted everything he did and fulfill all his need even by doing some forbidden acts to make him happy. I did what I did and I forget about my God. However, this did not make me better and I could not prevent him from other women relations. He was never a helpful or understandable husband and he never took care of the children. But things kept getting worth until I found out the he remarried another one secretly in less than 4 years marriage although he never fulfill my sexual needs when I was an only wife. He had no reason for remarriage but this is not it, our life has transformed to a hill. He kept treating me very badly, threaten me, hitting and finally sue me on court over some financial assets I owe claiming that it was his and he never really has any intention to give to me but he had the intention to lie. It has been more than 5 years now he does not want to give me divorce at the beginning of his second marriage he left me more than a 18 months and than came back home, some nights and rape me very aggressively, he drinks alcohol very badly. He is addicted. His mode is uncontrollable, he watches sexual movies every day and he often get errection with his hand - I do not know why - while he has 2 wives! He is Faz el kalb and now I fear about my children to be like him. He doesn't want to be a normal husband or father nor to divorce me. The atmosphere in the house is no good for them. I went to visit my brother in the US last year and we decided that I should never get back to him. What can I do? If I go back to him, he will force me to drink with him and does forbidden sexual intercourse.
I do not want to go back to this terrible life. And I know myself I can't tell him no even with things that forbidden. I ask Allaah for forgiveness and I feel so clean now. Please advise. Can I get divorce from the US? I am a US citizen but I married him in our home country.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
Dear sister, we feel deep sorrow after reading your story. It is apparent that your husband neither fears Allaah nor does he respect the rights of his wife and children as understood from the given details in your question.
As you know all good and happiness lies in following the commands of Allaah and abiding by the rulings of Islam. Woe and destruction are for those who transgress the limits of Allaah and His Prophet 
.
Now we advise you to repent sincerely from all the sins you have committed even if the purpose was only to please your husband. First priority should be given to pleasing Allaah and observing His commands above anything else.
If there is any chance to change your husband so that he turns away from alcohol, pornography, behaving poorly with you, etc., and fulfils the rights of his Lord and his wife then it is better to continue living with him.
However, if the disagreement reaches the point where all the doors of a peaceful solution are blocked and no room is left to continue married life, then you may resort to divorce as a last solution. For details, read Fatwa: 85034.
If he does not want to divorce you then you may get the divorce from Muslim authorities as we have discussed thoroughly in our Fatwa: 82727.
Allaah knows best.