In a hurry to marry a man who promises to change

16-3-2005 | IslamWeb

Question:

My brother is trying to find me a husband, a pious man. But I have been asked by another man to marry him, he says he will become a good Muslim Inshaa' Allaah, he is going to come back in my college within 2 months and he said he will have a beard, etc., Inshaa Allaah. I have told my mum, and says just wait until 2 months and see whether he has changed, I have done my Istikhaara, and now feel that I want to marry this man. Please give me some advise quick Inshaa Allaah, males can change can't they?

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Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

We advise you to take it easy and not hasten the matter, and to continue offering Istikhaara prayer and seek advise of pious and trustworthy people who know him better. Then if it becomes clear that he repented to Allaah and has good moral character, like being truthful, trustworthy and the like, while performing his religious obligations like prayers, fasting and so forth, and avoids great major sins like committing fornication and so forth, then you can hasten to accept him as a husband.  It is permissible to marry him even though he still commits some minor sins, but it is more appropriate for the woman to seek a religious man. If a religious man loves his wife, he will honour her and be good to her, and if he does not like her, he will not be unjust towards her. So if this man does not perform his religious obligations or commits some prohibited acts, then it is more appropriate to wait for a period of time in order to see whether or not he will observe the religious obligations.

Allaah knows best.