Husband wants sex only once a week
27-4-2004 | IslamWeb
Question:
My husband wants to make love (sex) just once a week. When I asked him the reason, he gave me no reason. What can I do?
Answer:
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
Having sex only once a week is an ordinary (natural) matter, and it does not mean that one of the spouses is not happy with the other. Actually, a lot of people who wrote about matters pertaining to marriage advised couples to have sex once a week, like Mahdi Al-Istambuli in his book Tuhfatul Arous, and Ibn Al-Jawzi.
However, the woman has the right to frankly ask her husband to have sex more than once a week. She can incite him to have sex with her by beautifying herself, flirting with him, being affectionate to him and telling him words of love and affection. She has to remind him that Allah has ordered the husband to keep good company with his wife.
Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {…And live with them honourably….}[4:19]. Allah also Says (interpretation of meaning): {…And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable,….}[2:228].
In the Hadith reported by Bukhari and Muslim, the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said to Abdullah Bin Amr Ibn Al-Ass (Radiya Allahu Anhum) when he kept himself busy with fasting and praying at night rather than fulfilling the needs of his wife: Your own self (body) has a right on you, and your wife (and family) has a right on you, and your guest has a right on you, so give everyone his right.
Sheikh Al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) gave a Fatwa that a husband should have sexual relations with his wife with kindness, and it is one of her rights on him, greater than the right of feeding her. Then he said: The obligatory sexual intercourse is said to be once in every four months, and it is said to be according to her need, and according to his capacity, and this is the more correct of the two opinions.
It is also possible to seek advice from the counseling section of Islamweb or seek advice from some doctors or experts in this field.
Allah knows best.