Husband lacks feelings for his wife after 10 years of marriage

22-2-2004 | IslamWeb

Question:

A friend who has been married for ten years has a husband telling her that he has no feelings for her any more. He also mentioned to her that has nothing to do with her. He says that the flame of their marriage is not there any more. She asked for advice from a Sheikh, but he didn't really help her because he wanted to talk to both of them. Her husband doesn't want to talk to any one, not even a friend. They still live the same house with their three kids. The sister doesn't feel that he is her husband any more, and she is very sad after ten years to hear that from her husband. How can they solve their problem? Any advice is appreciated.
Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

A husband is obliged to fulfill his wife's rights such as spending on her, having good marital relations with her and so on. If one lacks emotion in his marital life, he should endeavor to solve this and not surrender.

The ideal solution is that the spouses should speak frankly to each other and try to solve the problem as there might be some hidden matters that led to this lack of emotion and this cannot be known except by being frank to each other. Also, both spouses should tolerate and forgive each other and try to show love and affection to each other. Allaah Says (what means): {…And do not forget graciousness between you. ….}[Quran 2:237] Besides, the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "The best amongst yourselves are those who are best to their wives." [At-Tirmithi] Moreover, Allaah Says (what means): {…And live with them honourably….}[Quran 4:19]

Additionally, the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "A believing man should not hate a believing woman (i.e. his wife), if he hates one of her characters, he will be pleased with another.” [Ahmad[

In case being frank to each other is of no avail, then the wife should seek the help of a suitable person who may influence her husband and advise him concerning the rights of his wife.

Finally, we advise this husband to be good to his wife as highlighted in the above verses and Ahadeeth.

We ask Allaah to put love in your hearts and grant you a happy life.

Allaah Knows best.

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