Conflict with in-laws
19-7-2003 | IslamWeb
Question:
I am married for one year and recently had a daughter, Al-Hamdu Lillah. I live happily with my wife although she sometimes complains about certain acts from my mother (whom we are living with in the same house+father and two sisters) yet we are still cooperative and live a very happy Islamic life in Saudi. I don't know if my wife complaints to her parents when she faces anything undesirable (nothing against the Shariah)...but her parents have recently been giving too many orders and requests about matters like visiting another relative from their family or going to lunch, dinner, etc. Mostly we turn them down, but then I accept them so as not to make my wife angry. Just few days back after the birth of the baby they wanted to go to our country for her aunt's marriage which I turned down cause I could not stand my wife and child being away from me for another forty days! Her father talked to me about it and I told him that I have Haqq (rights) over my wife. This made him angry and he said that he also has rights over his child, Al-Hamdu Lillah, I pray, fast and follow the Sunnah + give my wife her exact equal (and little more) Haqq. My questions: a) If my wife is talking to her parents about problems she faces (nothing against the Shariah) is she sinning? b) My turning down request even things related to money is a mistake or disallowed in Shariah? c) Do my rights overcome her father's rights, if he has any (hoping he doesn't)?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
The husband's right supersedes that of others except the rights of Allaah. So, the husband has the right to prevent his wife from going out except with his permission, let alone travelling without his permission. She must follow her husband's instructions and not disobey him. Also, the wife must protect her husband's secrets and not reveal to her parents things that her husband would not want them to know.
On the other hand, the wife's father has no right to his son-in-law's property. Therefore, the wife should not give her parents or her relatives anything of her husband's money without his permission. She should not even press her husband to give gifts if he is not pleased to do so because the Muslim's money should not be taken except with his consent as indicated by the Prophet in the Hadeeth reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.
Hence, the husband commits no sins if he rejects the demands of his wife's father on this basis.
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa: 85169 and 84908.
Allaah Knows best.