Problematic Relations with Married Man
27-10-2002 | IslamWeb
Question:
I have a problem. I have a problem needing a proper decision. The problem is shortly the following: I'm a 30-year-old divorced woman living in Europe without children. Almost a year ago I met a man of my age. We fall in love and decided to get married. He told his wife about me; she became angry and is trying her best to get him to leave me. She is ok with his getting married again, but not me because he loves me she says. I never met her so she does not know me. His parents are standing by her side they want him to leave me without even knowing me and they argue it with that he loves me and this means that ill make him forget his family although I'm not like that at all. I always try to make him treat them the way he used to and better so that they wont put the blame on me he is very kind to everybody and everybody loves him. What is going on now is that he wants to marry me and I want to marry him but his father is fighting him by making him in need of money although his father is a wealthy man. The man I love works with his father who is making up problems for him just to make his life miserable and in this way leave me or this is what they all hope. His wife called me to talk me out of this marriage but I couldn't leave I tried to leave him several times but we are simply not able to think of our lives apart form each other. We have been together now for 1 year he lives in another country but came to visit me once and I was in the country where he lives to visit him. I want to help him I don't know what to do and need an advice.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If the father or mother of this man are against his marriage to you, then it is unlawful for him to marry you because his obedience to his parents is an obligation while his marriage to you is only a lawful act. So, if both things coincide, then he should give priority to that which is obligatory and leave that which is only lawful. So, he should try through kindness and wisdom to convince his parents to accept this marriage. If they do not accept, then Allah will give a way out to each one of them.
As for his wife, her consent is not a condition. But he is not supposed to destroy a marriage that already exists.
We draw your attention to the fact that it is unlawful for you to stay in seclusion with this man because he is a non-Mahram to you.
So, fear Allah and do not transgress His Limits.
We hope Allah will ease your matters.
Allah knows best.