Husband Lives abroad and Left Wife and Children with His Careless Parents

3-9-2002 | IslamWeb

Question:

A husband lives in a Muslim foreign country and he can keep his wife and children, but he does no want keep them with him because he thinks it is cannot save any money. The reason is that he is also supporting his parents back home. He wants his wife to stay with his parents. The parents do not like the wife and they do not take care of her. Also the husband does not give his wife her rights; he does not meet her every three months. Wife wants to stay with him but he says he can't keep her. They also have two daughters who are growing up without their father. Do you think in this situation a woman should ask for divorce? She is also suffering because she does not get money from her husband and she has to ask from his parents. Should she obey her husband and stay without him in any condition he wants her to stay? Is it allowed for a man to abandon his wife and kids to save money for his parents?
Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Dear Sister, we advise you to be patient and not hasten to ask for divorce. Perform the Istikhaarah prayer and seek consultation from some of your relatives or others whom you trust before you rush to a decision.

As for the husband, it is unlawful for him to stay away from his wife for more than six months without her consent. Maalik reported from ‘Umar Ibn al-Khattab may Allaah be pleased with him that he asked his daughter: “How long can a woman stand without her husband? The daughter answered: “Four or six months.” ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, then said: “I will not let any of my soldiers stay away from his wife more than that period.”

However, you should take into consideration your husband's conditions. You know that he does not spare any effort to satisfy your needs and those of his parents. Know also that his obedience to his parents is a great matter that makes him please Allah and get nearer to Him.

We advise you then to be patient with his parents and try to get their affection. Do not respond to any mistreatment you might get from them as long as you can. We hope that Allah will ease your condition.

Allah knows best.

www.islamweb.net