Deceived by Husband on Marriage Proposal
29-7-2002 | IslamWeb
Question:
I am a very well educated revert who has made Hijrah and had many suitors. It was a requirement that the one I chose was single (divorced or widowed was no problem) but it was important that I am the only wife. My husband came to ask for me and stated that he was divorced. He was suitable and we agreed to marry. I quit my job and prepared for the marriage. Two days before the wedding he stated that he was not divorced only separated but was in the middle of the divorce. I agreed to proceed with his word that he was divorcing her. I explained to him that I know myself very well and I could never accept that. After the marriage he said he took her back for his children. After some time I learned he was not separated from her and that he deceived me. He says that he desired me and it was needed that he lied to me. But there is a al-Hadith that says a Muslim does not lie. I am in a state that I am in a very bad mental condition because of this situation. My husband is good with me but I have suffered a lot in my coming to Islam I have lost all my family and I deserve a complete husband. Allah knows my intention in this life but I was very clear from the beginning about my side. Can you please give me a ruling to let me know my options? I am not a destitute woman that will die or be in harms way if I am alone I have been alone since I was 15 years old and have never been in a danger of going the wrong way. May Allah grant you the wisdom to give me the most correct ruling according to Shari'a?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
It is forbidden for a woman to stipulate that her husband divorces her co-wife. It is reported in Saheeh Al-Bukhari and Saheeh Muslim that the Prophet said: “A man must not make proposal of marriage to a woman when his brother has done so already. And he must not offer a price for a thing for which his brother had already offered a price; and a woman must not ask to have her sister divorced in order to deprive her of what belongs to her, but she must marry, because she will have what Allah has decreed for her.”
This Hadeeth limits the general meanings of the Hadeeth in which the Prophet said: “From among all the conditions which you have to fulfill, the conditions which legalize for you to have sexual relations (i.e. the marriage contract) have the greatest right to be fulfilled.”
Therefore, what you and your husband had agreed upon is forbidden and what is forbidden should not be implemented. All these given details are in regard of fulfilling the conditions.
Now, we advise our questioning sister to abstain from asking divorce as long as your husband is righteous, as you mentioned, and did not violate your rights. Know that you did not like to be divorced, likewise, you should not like for anyone to be divorced. The Prophet said: “None of you truly believes until he loves for his fellow brother that which he loves for himself.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Know that polygamy is permitted in Islam and it was the practice of the Prophets.
Also, we advise the husband to turn towards Allah in repentance for his lies. He should try his best to please his wife and be good with her.
For more benefit on polygamy, please refer to Fataawa 82971 and 81469.
Allah knows best.