Told wife she was divorced three times then took her back

4-1-2002 | IslamWeb

Question:

I had a fight with my wife and we were both very angry. When I returned back from work, my wife had left the house to go to her sister house. I tried to call her to ask her to come home and left her two messages but she didn't call me back. Later in the evening I drove to her sister's house to bring her back but nobody was home. I left a note in the door for her that I want her to come home and not to sleep outside of her home and I went back to my house. I waited another 1-2 hours and when she did not come I drove for the second time to bring her home. I got to the house and I asked her to come home and we will talk at home and here. My wife was very angry at me because when we tried to resolve our dispute one of the solutions was a divorce offer with me saying that I do not want a divorce but if you see that divorce is the solution I will go with it. My wife rejected the divorce as well. Back to her sister's house. When I went there for the second time I had a few beers. She refused to come back with me because she wanted to rest for a few days, but I insisted that she has to come back with me. When she didn't I said, "you are divorced, divorced, divorced and you are Haram alai". Of course, I did not want to divorce her because I love her and I would not said that if I was in a different state of mind. I was not aware of what I am saying and also to the consequences of Talaq. After 1-2 weeks separate, we talked again and she came back home to live with me. Yes, we had intercourse from the time she is back with me. I need you Fatwa.

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Answer:

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

If your saying to your wife 'You are divorced' three times is intended only to establish divorce by repetition, then this is a revocable divorce.
The ruling of saying, "You are forbidden to me" to your wife depends on your intention. This may constitute a Zihar (i.e. to say to your wife 'You are to me as my mother's back, an injurious assimilation of wife to mother) if you intend it. This may also be a form of an oath, if you intend that. It may constitute an Ilaa (i.e. abandonment of having sex with a wife due to an oath). This formula (of Zihar) may be a form of divorce, then it will constitute a second divorce (the first mentioned above).
Thus, having sex with your wife means that you have returned her after being divorced. This is your right since she has not been divorced irrevocably. On the other hand, according to the majority of Muslim scholars, such as the four Imams and others, if such a person intends to make divorce three times when he utters "You are divorced, divorced, divorced at the same time", then this is an irrevocable divorce. Moreover, saying to your wife "You are forbidden to me" has no influence since it takes place after a final divorce. In addition, it is forbidden to have sex with your wife because you have no right to return her after being divorced. However, having sex due to ignorance of ruling in Sharia is "a suspicion of practice", i.e. to do a Haram action without due thought to its legality. So, you have to repent and seek Allah's forgiveness. In reality, there is no difference between a divorce uttered in a state of drunkenness or consciousness as long as the divorcee has caused inebriety to himself. This ruling is the preponderant one in the four schools of Islamic Fiqh. This ruling constitutes a punishment that may restrain such a person from committing sins and prevent him from taking intoxicants willingly without any dire need.
Thereupon, your wife becomes divorced although you are in a state of inebriety due to taking beer. So, you have to consult Sharia courts in your country. If there are no such courts, then we advise you to consult any Islamic Centre.
Allah knows best.