Upbringing Children on the Straight Path
31-10-2023 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalamualikum wr wb i have 3 sons aged 15,14,12 recently my eldest one confessed to me that he has enagaged in a very shocking act of he holding his freinds genitals and viceversa that came as a shock and i asked whats the reason he said its just like that ,he mentioned 2 yrs ago he came across some video on the internet of porn but these 3 brothers often touch eachothers genitals as well ,i heard all of this pateintly and have explained how bad it is and not natural as we are born on fitrah and he confessed that he felt bad about it and wants to repent ,what more can i do to guide them and stay away from the sin as i know Allah is the best guide but i really want to protect my children from this grave sin and they are aware that this is haraam and act of obsenity but im failing to understnd why this happened as they are quran students 2 finished memorising quran as well ,subhanAllah and no access to internet at ease is given to them ,please guide me jazakallah khair
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
May Allah reward you with goodness for your concern about the upbringing of your children, their memorization of the Quran, and your diligence in preventing them from indecency and its causes. May Allah place that in the balance of your good deeds, facilitate for you their good upbringing, and grant you satisfaction with their actions.
Firstly, it is undeniable that supplication is among the most significant means through which a Muslim achieves what he seeks. One of the names of Allah, the Most High, is Al-Mujeeb, and He responds to supplication. The supplication of parents for their children is accepted, as established in the authentic Sunnah.
Secondly, psychological calm is important when dealing with such behaviors from them. This aids in providing good guidance and dealing with the situation properly, as opposed to reacting with nervousness. At the same time, there should be a form of firmness in guidance, so they realize the seriousness of their actions and understand it as a gateway to immorality.
Thirdly, remind them of the blessing bestowed upon them by Allah the Almighty in memorizing the Quran. It is a blessing deserving gratitude, and one way to express gratitude is through obedience to the Most Merciful and refraining from disobedience.
Fourthly, remind them to be aware that Allah is watching, that He knows all of their words and actions. They are assigned angels who record their deeds, both good and bad, and all of this is documented in a book that does not leave anything, small or large, without being accounted for.
Fifthly, strive to know who they associate with, encourage them to be in the company of the righteous, and caution them against bad companionship. Connect them with trustworthy individuals associated with centers where righteous people gather, filling their leisure time with lawful and enjoyable activities, and teaching them matters related to their faith.
Allah knows best.