Keeping Kinship Ties with Cousins

7-2-2023 | IslamWeb

Question:

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاتهHow to uphold ties with the non mahram relatives like first cousins and in-laws ?My family thinks I am extreme because I only say Salaam and talk to them when there is a need and I believe we have to help them when there are financially not good or give them gifts through my mother to connect ties. Please could you provide evidences from the Qur'an and Authentic HadithJazzakallah Khair

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Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

Keeping ties with kinship is obligatory and it is forbidden to severe ties with them. The scholars differed in opinion as to the limit of kinship that is obligatory to be upheld. Our preponderant view [in Islamweb] is that it is particular to the Mahrams. Therefore, keeping kinship ties is obligatory with Mahrams such as brothers, sisters, paternal and maternal uncles and aunts, and it is desirable with non-Mahrams, like cousins.

In addition, the kinship relationship in the Sharee’ah does not have a specific amount or a specific means, but it takes place with everything that is considered in the custom to be maintaining ties with kinship. I’aanat At-taalibeen ‘ala hali 'alfadh fath almu'een: Maintaining ties of kinship, i.e., with relatives is also enjoined; it is what you do with your relative that makes you considered as keeping ties with kinship, and it is by giving money, fulfilling needs, visiting, texting messages, correspondence with greetings, and so on.” [End of quote]

Moreover, the kinship relationship between women and non-Mahram men [like cousins for example] is achieved by whatever is considered as maintaining the relationship in the custom, provided that there is no legal prohibition, and it does not result in temptation.

Accordingly, what you mentioned about helping your relatives with money and sending gifts to them through your mother, then this is from the required ties of kinship but abandoning greeting them when you meet them is unacceptable.

Ghidhaa’ Al-Albaab fi Sharh Mandhumah Al-Adab reads: “Imam Ahmed said to the one whom his cousin insulted: If you meet her, greet her with Salam, avoid cutting ties totally with her."

Allah knows best.