All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
The wife’s obedience to her husband is not an absolute one; rather, it is restricted by three conditions:
First, it should not be in a matter that contradicts the Sharee’ah.
Second, it should be within the wife’s capacity and it should not cause her any harm – a fact deduced from the Saying of Allah, the Almighty, (which means): {Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity.} [Quran, 2:286], and the Hadeeth of the Prophet which reads “There should be neither harm nor reciprocating harm.”
Third, it should be in the affairs of marriage and what is relating to it.
If there is mutual respect and understanding between the couple and each of them duly fulfills the rights of the other, then the family would stabilize as exactly instructed by Allah, the Exalted. In truth, family stability is one of the greatest objectives of marriage. Allah, the Almighty, Says (what means): {And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.} [Quran, 30:21]
For more benefit on the duties of husband and wife towards each other, and treating the wife honorably, please refer to Fataawa 85308, 85167, 86618, 88304 and 88304.
Allah knows best.