Marital Problems
31-7-2022 | IslamWeb
Question:
Alsalam alaikum. I have a problem where I need help and guidance. I was married to a man from a different culture and everyone was happy for us. Then in two years I had many problems, he hits me, lying, my parents also I told them and he had problems with them. And I’m originally Arab as he is but I am born and raised up in Europe. So my family after all was afraid that he only wanted the permanent resistance. So I got support after he hitted me from my family and then we ended up separated in the country and he said that I am “talaq“ or “taleq” I also went to the police after the hit was very hard and I ended up bleeding. Then wen I was at my family’s house I got to know that I was pregnant. But in my early days so I aborted the baby because my family said that and we must make an end because he was also very rude to my family. After all and months went and everyone supported me to make a divorce with him. I felt after months that I’m lost and I can’t live wit my parents again and it’s hard for me to imagine marry another man. We talked again and we were so hurted and he now lost the residence but he said it’s ok I want you as you are I don’t care about anything else. But he don’t like my parents because he says that they interrupted us a lot but they only wanted to support me, and I also lied to him a lot because he was so Hard and when he gets upset he don’t talk to me in days and I’m very sensitive and can’t take this. Anyway I hope you got a picture on how it was. My parents don’t like that I get married to him again because they think he is abusive and he don’t like how my parents think. ( we were going to get divorce twice and everyone in my family and his family was in the problem and supported me ) But now after we talked about everything, we are thinking to live with each other again. I want to make a real dession, and I feel so ashamed that everyone knows and I don’t want to hurt my parents or myself again. I don’t know what to do and I feel so lost.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If that man treats you in the way you mentioned, with abuse, beating, and lying to you, then he is not a husband who lives with his wife in kindness, while Allah, The Exalted, commanded husbands to live with their wives in kindness, we have already explained in Fataawa 86618 and 88304.
A healthy marriage is based on mutual respect between the spouses and each of them fulfilling their obligations towards the other.
We have explained the rights of spouses over each other in Fatwa 85308.
Your husband may be more aware of the expression by which he divorced you. If he said to you: "Anti Taliq (You are divorced)", then this is an explicit expression of divorce and divorce takes place even if the husband did not intend it; there is an agreement between the scholars of Fiqh in this regard. If he said to you: "Talaq (divorce)", then this is also an explicit expression of divorce according to the view of most scholars. But some others are of the view that this is a metaphor of divorce and divorce does not take place except with intention.
Aborting the fetus before forty days is something which some scholars allowed, and some of them absolutely forbade it, even if it was only at the Nutfah phase. This is the view we adopt in Islamweb, as we discussed in Fatwa 85970. Therefore, you must repent.
If your husband has become righteous, or that you agree to be patient with him, then your guardian has no right to prevent you from going back to him.
Allah Says (what means): {And when you divorce women and they have fulfilled their term, do not prevent them from remarrying their [former] husbands if they agree among themselves on an acceptable basis.} [Quran 2:232]
Al-Bukhaari reported that the above verse was revealed about Ma’qil ibn Yassar 
whose sister was divorced by her husband who left her until she had completed her waiting period, and then he wanted to remarry her, but Ma‘qil refused. He said to the man: “I married her off to you, and honored you, but you divorced her and now you come to marry her again. No, by Allah, she will never come back to you again. He was a good man and she wanted to return to him. So, Allah revealed this verse (which means): {… do not prevent them…}. Then, Ma’qil said: “Now I will return her, o Prophet of Allah.” So, he married her off again to him.
It should be noted that if your waiting period has expired, then he cannot remarry you except with a new marriage contract.
We advise both of you to avoid problems, and if any problems occur between both of you, then you should solve them without the intervention of others, as they may intervene to spoil your relationship instead of reconciling between you.
Allah knows best.