Seeking parents’ permission to enter upon them
3-1-2018 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu. Do I need permission to enter my parents' room every time? They get annoyed by that and tell me to come in without asking.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
It is incumbent on you to seek permission before entering upon the parents based on the following hadeeth:
ʻAtaa’ ibn Yasaar, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that a man asked the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, saying, “O Messenger of Allah, shall I ask permission to enter upon my mother?” He said, “Yes.” The man said, “I live with her in the house.” The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, said, “Ask her permission.” The man said, “I am her servant (i.e. I tend to her needs).” The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, said, “Ask her permission. Do you want to see her naked?” He said, “No.” He, sallallahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, said, “Then, ask her permission.” [Maalik: Mursal (a hadeeth narrated by a Tabi'i, i.e. successor of the Prophet's Companions) and Al-Bayhaqi narrated it via this same route]
Ibn ʻAbd Al-Barr 
commented on the hadeeth, saying, “This hadeeth is authentic and Mursal, and the scholars agreed upon the validity of its meaning.”
The Kuwaiti Encyclopedia of Fiqh reads:
“The obligation of seeking permission is evidenced by the Quran, the Sunnah, statements of the Companions, and principles of the Shariah.
As for the Quran, Allah, the Exalted, says (what means): {And when the children among you reach puberty, let them ask permission (at all times) as those before them have done. Thus does Allah make clear to you His verses; and Allah is Knowing and Wise.} [Quran 24:59]
As for the Sunnah, ʻAtaa’ ibn Yasaar, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that a man asked the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, saying, ‘O Messenger of Allah, shall I ask permission to enter upon my mother?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ The man said, ‘I live with her in the house.’ The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, said, ‘Ask her permission.’ The man said, ‘I am her servant (i.e. I tend to her needs).’ The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, said, ‘Ask her permission. Do you want to see her naked?’ He said, ‘No.’ He, sallallahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, said, ‘Then, ask her permission.’ [Maalik]
As for the statements of the Companions, they are many, including the following:
· ʻAbdullah ibn Masʻood, may Allah be pleased with him, said, ‘You have to seek permission to enter upon your mothers and sisters.’
· Al-Jassaas narrated on the authority of ʻAtaa’ that he asked Ibn ʻAbbaas, may Allah be pleased with him, ‘Should I seek permission to enter upon my sister?’ He answered, ‘Yes.’ ʻAtaa’ said, ‘She lives with me in the same house, and I provide for her.’ He said, ‘Seek permission to enter upon her.’
· Al-Kaasaani narrated that a man asked Huthayfah ibn Al-Yamaan, may Allah be pleased with him, ‘Do I have to seek permission before entering upon my sister?’ He replied, ‘If you do not, you may see of her what you would not be pleased to see.’
As for the relevant principles of the Shariah, if a man entered his mother's room without seeking permission, he may see her ʻAwrah (what must be covered of the body), or what is deemed unlawful for him to see. Therefore, it is incumbent to seek permission in order to eliminate the means that lead to undesirable consequences.”
If your parents are annoyed when you repeatedly greet them and seek permission before entering their room, then you should clarify the relevant religious ruling and the importance of greeting one another with the Salaam to them, and that the exchange of the Salaam is one of the manifest rituals of Islam from which blessings are derived and affection is nurtured among Muslims. Allah, the Exalted, says (what means): {But when you enter houses, give greetings of peace upon each other - a greeting from Allah, blessed and good. Thus, does Allah make clear to you the verses (of ordinance) that you may understand.} [Quran 24:61]
Anas ibn Maalik, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, sallallahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, said to him, “O Son, when you enter upon your family, greet them with the Salaam, for it is a blessing for you and for them.” [At-Tirmithi]
However, if your parents gave you permission to enter without seeking permission, it is permissible for you to do so when the door is open or when there is any other sign indicating that there is no inconvenience if you enter. Ibn Masʻood, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Prophet, sallallahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, said to him, “The sign that you have been permitted to come in is that the curtain is raised or that you hear me speaking quietly until I forbid you..” [Muslim 14/150]
An-Nawawi wrote:
“It is deduced from the hadeeth that it is permissible to accept signs indicating that a person is permitted to enter without seeking permission. If a ruler or judge, for instance, said that when his door is open, this serves as a tacit permission for all people or a specific group of people or a particular person to enter, it is permissible to accept such a sign and act upon it. The same applies if a man specified a certain sign for his servants, slaves, or someone else indicating that they are allowed to enter upon him without seeking permission. When this person lets down his curtains, it is impermissible for anyone to enter without his permission; when he raises the curtain, it is permissible for them to enter without seeking permission (as arranged).”
Allah knows best.