Ill-mannered wife

3-4-2016 | IslamWeb

Question:

Assalaamu alaykum. I am Bangladeshi national and have been living in Canada as a refugee for almost three years. I have my wife and a child with me. We got married 16 years ago. My wife now asking for divorce from me. Everyday, she quarrels with me and bothers me. She has broken my laptop, tablet, mobile phone; has thrown my clothes and shoes, and does not cook any meals for me. At first, I tried to convince her, but she does not care. Then I started to live in separate room, but she still does not care. Now she is trying to get to know other people and threatens me that if I do not divorce her, she will do something in order to make me feel ashamed in society. She talks too much on her mobile phone with unknown persons and does not care about me. According to the law in Canada, I can not beat her nor quarrel with her. She goes outside for four or five hours without giving me any reason. Please help me by giving any suggestion; how can I overcome this situation?

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger. 

Islam legislated marriage to be a source of tranquility for both spouses; Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.} [Quran 30:21] Therefore, the husband is enjoined to fulfill the rights of his wife over him and live with her in kindness, and the wife as well is enjoined to fulfill the rights of her husband over her and live with him in kindness, in abidance with the divine command: {And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable.} [Quran 2:228]

If what you said about your wife is true, then this does not conform to the concepts of mutual kindness that Islam enjoins. It is unfortunate that a wife would reach this level of foolishness with her husband to the extent of damaging his property and threatening to disgrace his honor.

If she has no reason for requesting a divorce, then she bears a sin for that. Thawbaan  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, said, “If any woman asks her husband for divorce without a valid reason, then the scent of Paradise will be forbidden to her.” [Abu Daawood, At-Tirmithi and Ibn Maajah]

In fact, this woman is considered a disobedient and rebellious wife, and you are advised to strive in rectifying her conduct by continuing to advise her and seek the help of her family and those close to her. It should be noted that living in a non-Muslim country may expose the Muslim to such hardships given the laws that give the wife and children the absolute freedom, in addition to the temptations and the culture of having extramarital relations. Therefore, we recommend that you try to migrate with your family to a Muslim country. For more benefit, please refer to fatwa 86405.

Finally, if she persistently continued to commit such sinful actions, you are in no need of keeping her as your wife. In this case you should divorce her so as to protect your honor; it is recommended to divorce such a wife. Abu Moosa Al-Ashʻari  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, said, “There are three individuals who, when they supplicate Allaah, their supplication is not answered: a man who has an ill-mannered wife but he does not divorce her...” [Al-Haakim and Al-Bayhaqi]

You have the right to pressure her until she requests a khul’ (divorce at the instance of the wife for compensation that she pays to the husband) as scholars advised in such a case. For more benefit, please to fatwa 257920.

Allaah knows best.

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