Traveling to continue studies when mother is sick at home
15-5-2015 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalamualaikum Syaikh,I'm from Indonesia, and I always find this website to be very helpful to me. I wanted to ask in Arabic, but I'm not really fluent in it, so I decided to go with English. I will try to explain this subject briefly.I'm 22 years old, and Alhamdulillah have finished my bachelor in Sharia Economics in Indonesia. Now, I really want to further my studies and take my masters abroad, maybe in Malaysia, Allah willing. Right now, my mother is not healthy, she has arthritis, making her difficult to move around well. There is a caretaker who lives with us to look after her. Of course, I look after her too, and not just rely on said caretaker. This caretaker is someone we know throughout our lives, because she lived with us since she was young, and my grandmother taught her al-Quran and deen.Because of this, I told myself that it would be better for me to take my masters here in Indonesia, where I can stay with her and look after her. I have two brothers, who both live in another province altogether. My father is a lecturer in Malaysia, and got his doctorate from al-Azhar Cairo, Alhamdulillah. I told him that I would rather study in Indonesia, but he insists that I should go to Malaysia and enroll there. Frankly, I always wanted to study abroad and I thought that this is a perfect opportunity for me.Syaikh Karim, what should I do? Should I stay in Indonesia for my masters to look after my mother, or should I go to Malaysia like my father willed? My mother will let me go, even persuaded me to go to Malaysia, but deep down I now it is a bit heavy for her to see me leave. We are 3 brothers, if I leave, then all of her sons will leave her alone at home.Syukran, Jazakumullah khairan katsiran, apology for the long question.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If you are sure that your mother will not be neglected in the presence of this woman with her, then there is no harm in you traveling and leaving her, especially as you mentioned that your mother does not object to you traveling there. Although your leaving her may cause her pain, seeing you achieving your goal of getting the Master’s degree in Malaysia will be her consolation; and by doing so, you would be dutiful to your father as well.
But if you decide to be dutiful to your mother by staying with her and looking after her affairs, and you look for a way to obtain the Master's degree in your own country, then this is good. It is hoped that success will be written for you because of your being kind and dutiful to your mother. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 87019 and 82254.
As for your father, you can try to persuade him to agree that you stay with your mother and study in your country. If he agrees, then this is what is desired; if not, there is no sin on you, Allaah willing, in not obeying him in this matter, because the scholars said that obedience to parents is not absolute. The reason is clarified in Fatwa 131695. In any case, you should put forth your best effort to please your parents in every permissible manner.
Allaah Knows best.