Ruling on taking another wife if one's mother refuses
30-7-2014 | IslamWeb
Question:
I wrote to you previously about the ruling on having more than one wife (No. 2499345) and you said many scholars believed it is better to have only one wife. Therefore this time I am writing to you with my full specific situation, for which I seek a ruling. I am a 29 year old married businessman. I have come to know of and proposed to a widow with two daughters living in desperate poverty. I can afford to maintain both wives and I can financially and physically cater to both families. However my first wife's brother has threatened to divorce my sister who is married to him in case I go through this marriage. He says he accepts that second marriage is permissible but he says it is not compulsory for him to keep my sister in his nikah either. Also my mother has ordered me not to remarry since she does not want her daughter to be divorced and also because my first wife is her niece. So my question is: Do I have to obey my my mother's instruction if she tells me not to marry a second wife even though I am capable? She says that obedience to mother is obligatory and that second marriage is not obligatory. And if my sister's husband divorces her, will he be considered sinful? He says that men are not sinful for divorcing their wives without a reason.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and messenger.
Your wife’s brother has no right to threaten to divorce your sister if you took another wife. Allaah has made polygyny lawful to those men who are capable of treating their wives on a footing of equality. Moreover, it is disliked for a man to divorce his wife without a legitimate reason. Some scholars even deemed it forbidden, given the consequent evils that are mostly incurred in such a case. This has been highlighted in Fataawa divorced their wives">104995 and 87786. Hence, your wife’s brother may be held sinful for divorcing your sister for no legitimate reason.
It is worth highlighting that the Islamic ruling on marriage varies according to people’s different situations and needs. If you do not fear falling into Fitnah (temptation/trouble, e.g. approaching a woman unlawful to you or engaging in any other forbidden sexual outlet) if you do not take another wife, marriage is not considered obligatory in this case. Therefore, your obedience to your mother and giving up the idea of a second marriage is considered obligatory. This is so if your marriage may cause her justifiable harm which is not a result of her foolishness and ignorance. Verily, what is obligatory - obeying your mother - should be given precedence over what is not obligatory - marriage in such a case.
However, if you fear falling into Fitnah if you do not take another wife, in this case such a marriage is obligatory. In this case, it is not incumbent on you to obey your mother and give up the idea of the second marriage, because children’s obedience to their parents is only in what is good. Verily, harming oneself is not good. Please, refer to Fatwa 245677 about the criteria and limits of children’s obedience to the parents.
However, if you can adhere to piety and give up the idea of having a second wife so as to show dutifulness towards your mother and preserve your sister’s family, this would be commendable of you. You would be generously rewarded for your dutifulness to your mother and eagerness to gain her pleasure. You should not forget that taking a second wife may incur adverse effects on your family, and this is often the case as we know.
With regard to this woman, we advise you to show kindness to her and take care of her two daughters. This is an area of doing good. Verily, Allaah, The Exalted, does not allow the rewards of the good doers to be lost, especially since Allaah has bestowed favors upon you and granted you abundant wealth. You can also help her find a righteous husband; this is commendable. Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {… and do good - that you may succeed.}[Quran 22:77]
Allaah Knows best.