You have to fulfill the rights of your first wife unless she renounces any of them
1-6-2014 | IslamWeb
Question:
Salam Alaikum, I have decided to take a second wife in an intension of having child. We have no kid and we fostered (guardianship) a baby girl by a legal process. My wife is barren. She refused to give me official permission for taking a 2nd wife which is required by Bangladesh law. Her logic is that she can't share me with any other women and can't just bear it. As I have said if she is not permitting me, I have to consider to divorce her in that case. Now she is proposing that she will not complain against my 2nd marriage ( it will still be a breach of law but no allegation will be logged against me as long as she is not complaining) but she will stay separate from me with the baby girl. She wants to maintain a minimum relation with me so that the baby can use my name as guardian and so as she as husband. And I have to make expenditure like what I am doing for them now. She is a teacher and earning enough to maintain herself and the baby. But at this time I never take anything from her salary. Now my question, 1. Can I agree with such conditions that she will be staying as mentioned? It also implies that I will not ask for any physical relation with her. 2. Do I obelized to agree on same expenditure as I am doing now? 3. Can I make expenditure for my new wife regardless the amount I will be giving to 1st wife?. 4. What is my responsibility for the baby after she will be staying with my 1st wife?. 5. What are my other rights still remain to my 1st wife and her rights to me if I agree her proposal? Like, she still has to ask my permission in the cases required by sharia. Jazakallah feekum.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and messenger.
First of all, we would like to draw your attention to the fact that it is permissible in Islam for a Muslim man to marry up to four wives provided that he offers them fair treatment. Allaah says (what means): {…then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].} [Quran 4:3]
Any law that contradicts the Sharee'ah is not to be given consideration, and it is permissible to violate any such law. However, a Muslim should avoid whatever may expose him to legal complications.
Secondly: It is permissible for a wife to renounce some of her marital rights so that her husband would keep her as a wife. Sawdah bint Zam’ah 
gifted her day and night turn with the Prophet 
to ‘Aa’ishah seeking to please the Prophet by doing so, as reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim 
. Therefore, it is permissible to accept these conditions. However, if your wife renounces her right in having sexual intercourse with you [and thus refrains from having sexual intercourse with you], then she has to avoid any [outside] causes of temptation.
Thirdly: If your wife does not renounce her right to financial support from you, then you would still be obliged to provide for her even if she were self-sufficient or wealthy.
Fourthly: In the event that you are obliged to provide for your first wife [i.e. she does not renounce her right to financial support], then you are obliged to provide fairly for both of your wives. This fairness is obligatory with regard to the principle maintenance, or the maintenance proper, meaning that you should be fair in providing each of them with their basic necessities, and beyond that, it is permissible for you to favor any one of them with gifts.
Fifthly: You are obliged to fulfill all the rights of your wife unless she renounces any of them. As long as she is in bond of marriage with you, she is obliged to obey you in what is permissible even if she is in her father’s home.
In a discussion on the obligation of the maintenance right of the wife and the matters that cause her to lose that right, Tuhfat Al-Muhtaaj, a book on the Shaafi'i School of jurisprudence, reads: “Her going out of his home – i.e. from the place he agreed that she would reside – even if it is her own home or her father’s home - as it apparently means - and even if she goes out for the purpose of worship, while her husband is absent, if he does not give permission and it is not believed that he would agree to it, [then it] is disobedience and recalcitrance on her part, as he has the right to keep her confined to his home in return for providing for her….” [End of quote]
Sixthly: Adoption is forbidden and invalid. It does not result in any of the legal status of sonship or daughtership such as financial support, inheritance and marriage impediments. So you are not obliged to provide for the adopted girl unless you wish to be kind to her, and Allaah does not cause the reward of those who do good to be lost.
For more information on the ruling of adoption, please refer to Fataawa 84422 and 82371.
Allaah Knows best.