Wants to take back his wife after divorcing her irrevocably
2-5-2011 | IslamWeb
Question:
Slm. I got married 7 years ago, my wife had some issues with sex and we only consummated the marriage 9 months later. this put allot of strain on our marriage during the 9 months. Some time after the 9 months I gave her a verbal Talaq no witnesses. we never seperated. some months later i gave her a 2nd talaq no witness, we separated and then reconciled weeks later. a year later we were staying in separate cities and i visited her once a month.... she eventually moved to me and 2 weeks later i gave her a 3rd talaq via email, she didnt read it and a day later i deleted the email as we share the same email add. we took this however as a 3rd talaq and moved on. We realized that we loved each other still and during my visits to her city we slept together at least once a month. After a few months I decided we need to stop doing this and perhaps move on..... 4 weeks later she ended sleeping with a friend of hers, he really took advantage of her as she was still in pain from us separating . I found out about it when I visited and read a message on her phone and then she admited sleeping with him. I was totally devastated, heartbroken and in shock that she would do that.... I cried allot as I really loved her. She ended it with him cause she saw how it affected me. this was 2 months ago. We getting close again and I want to do the right thing now... we havnt slept together since this other guy but we want to.. Im now wanting to be with her again and protect her from other guys just wanting to sleep with her and ofcourse the 2 of us doing the wrong thing. Can I remarry her ? please guide me.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
It is not a condition for the divorce to be effective to have witnesses for it; rather, divorce takes place once the husband utters it. Having witnesses for divorce is not obligatory, let alone being a condition for it to be effective. Rather, it is only desirable to have witnesses for divorce according to the view of the majority of the scholars as we already clarified in Fatwa 133297.
Therefore, your wife has become irrevocably divorced from you and she is not permissible for you unless she marries another man a serious marriage and he consummates the marriage with her and then he divorces her or dies. For more benefit on the kinds of divorce, please refer to Fatwa 82541.
Indeed, having sexual intercourse with her after the third divorce had taken place is a major sin, so you are both obligated to repent. Your wife is also obligated to repent for having committed Zina (fornication or adultery) with that man. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 86527.
Moreover, she should protect herself by observing Hijab and avoiding staying in seclusion with non-Mahram men or mixing with them or other matters that could lead her to commit Zina again.
If her waiting period expires, it is permissible for her to look for a pious man who would marry her; however, this marriage should not be in order to make her lawful for you. This is because both the husband who seeks that his wife be permissible for him again by her marrying another man, and the man who marries her for this purpose are cursed. ‘Ali 
narrated that the Prophet said: “Curse be upon the man who marries a divorced woman with the intention of making her lawful for her ex-husband, and the one for whom she is made lawful (i.e. ex-husband).” [Abu Daawood, At-Tirmithi and Ibn Maajah]. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 92332.
Finally, it should be noted that a person who does not know (the ruling on something) must ask the scholars before acting especially in regard to the issues of marriage so that a person would not commit what is forbidden while not realizing it. Allaah Says (what means): {…ask the people of the message [i.e. former scriptures] if you do not know.}[Quran 16:43]
Allaah Knows best.