Wants her to remain with him although he uttered divorce many times
9-3-2011 | IslamWeb
Question:
ASalam ali qum...i got nikah with my husband and we lived toghter for 5 years.we have one daughter....it was 2 years we started hating and arguing with each other he has said dalaaq lots of times and swore at me...then acts like nothing happen but then says he wants me out of his life wishes i was dead etc etc doesnt care if i ran away and leave him.i left him 1 year ago becoz i had enough day and nite he argued i couldnt stand him i felt sick ...i thought i have other baby it would bring us close but when i told him im pregnant he didnt care he asked is it boy or girl i was not even 2 months pregnant and then i said do u want this baby he said up to u i no its gunnah but then i got abortion by the pill i was only 6 weeks pregnant...i couldnt stand talking to him i completly went of him...i want to know are we islamically divorced...and i cant ever see myself living with him i gave him all the chances and he thinks its a joke always saying divorce probaly said it 20 times or so...i want to know what rights do i have...i have no intentions getting back with him but he wants to get back with me becoz he hasnt learnt to live his life with any other person and i dont want to get back with him ...and to make sure that dont ever happen i want to marry someone else..please help ...jazakallah. i am very scared and dont no my situation.my father is giving me no support and help i am dead for him becoz i ran away from home i no its not rite but no one supported me....my husabnd didnt give me money called me names he did not give me his wages...or help pay bills i did all this out of income support...and he said he rather go with a prostitude with me he said lots of hurtful things he wathes dirty dance women stage shows infront of my 2 year old daughter and called my daughter a prostitide when she through his mobile phone...he is very bad and never prays namaaz i lived with him for 5 years and not for a day has he read 5 times just on jummah he would read one namaz thats it.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
There is no joking in divorce; so if it is said in jest, it is effective and valid. Abu Hurayrah 
narrated that the Prophet said: “There are three things which if they are done seriously they are valid and if they are done in jest they are also valid: marriage, divorce and taking back a wife (to marital bond after divorce).” [Abu Daawood, At-Tirmithi and Ibn Maajah]
However, your statement that your husband “was always saying divorce, probably said it 20 times or so” is a general statement which needs more clarification as this might be an irrevocable divorce or might not reach this level. So the matter needs more clarification and it might be that the husband should clarify what he intended.
Therefore, we are unable to issue a Fatwa to you in this regard and we advise you to take your case to an Islamic centre in your country or consult some trustworthy scholars.
Anyway, the following matters should be mentioned:
1- The husband is obligated to spend on his wife, and if he refuses while he is well off, his wife has the right to ask him to compensate her for whatever she had spent, and it is considered as a debt that he has to pay. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 85012. Besides, it is not permissible for the wife to go out of her home without the permission of her husband. But if her husband refuses to spend on her, then he has no right to prevent her from going out in order to earn her living; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 91788.
2- The wife has the right over her husband that he should have a good marital relationship with her as he is ordered by Allaah and we have already clarified this in Fataawa 86618 and 88304. Therefore, your husband's insulting you and provoking you with some unseemly expressions and wishing you death, all this is contradictory to the commands of Allaah. In addition to this, he should either keep you in kindness or divorce you in kindness.
3- Abandoning the prayer, watching pornographic films, and a father calling his daughter a prostitute, all this is a grave sin and a great calamity, indeed there is no good in a husband who cuts his relationship between him and his Lord.
4- Abortion is forbidden even if the fetus is at the Nutfah stage according to the preponderant view of the jurists. So, you must repent from this, and if abortion took place after the fetus has taken human form, then a Diyah must be paid, which is one-tenth of the Diyah of the mother. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 102388.
Allaah Knows best.