Needs to lie about his marital status to be eligible to travel with his father
8-9-2009 | IslamWeb
Question:
Sir I want to ask a question that my marriage is going to be held in Oct-2009 which is committed. Now we want to delay the marriage but the other party is not agrred.
Purpose of delay is that Inshallah my father would get a chance of posting abroad. He is not confirmed that which station/country he will get. If there is any station where he can take his family with him if it is safe for family and there is education for children’s then it is fine.
But if such situation occurs that he cannot take his family with him then his desire is to take me with him for company because my father cannot live alone in any case otherwise he will not be able to avail this chance. This posting is very important for us due to our financial crises and it is help of Allah to take us out from our financial crises.
Now the condition from the government is that one can take only those of his children’s with him who are single (unmarried). If my marriage take place then according to government condition I will not be eligible to go with him.
If family cannot accompany him then how can I accompany him? At that time is it permissible in Islam that to overcome this problem he show my status as single (unmarried) so that I could accompany him?
Kindly suggest me what to do because due to this problem my father is facing a lot of tension. There is no chance of delay in my marriage as it is committed with the parents of my feoncy and they don’t want to delay in any case and if I will be married then I will not eligible to accompany him. My father want to avail this opportunity in any case but if family or I cannot accompany him then he will not be able to go abroad alone due to illness and cannot live alone. We are bearing 7-8 lack loan on us and only this posting opportunity can help us to return the loan.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
It is permissible to delay the marriage for a period that does not entail harm on the woman. We suggest that you first try to convince this girl and her family to accept delay of your marriage for a specific period, which should not be long. If they are convinced, you would achieve what you wanted. If they are not convinced, and you concluded your marriage and then traveled with your father without resorting to the prohibited lying, it would be fine. In fact, telling lies is a grave sin that a Muslim should not commit without serious necessity. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, severely warned against telling lies. He said: "Beware of telling lies. Surely, telling lies leads to vice and vice leads to Hell.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
There is no harm that your father resorts to equivocations (Tawriyah, i.e. saying something which has more than one meaning and intending a meaning different from what the listener is likely to understand) if needed, because equivocations are a safe way to avoid lying. In other words, if your father was asked whether or not you were married, he might say, "not married" meaning that you are not married to another woman or the like. This is what we mean by equivocations where the speaker uses a word intending one meaning whereas the listener understands another meaning. It is permissible to resort to this alternative when needed, provided this should not be used to usurp people's rights.
Allaah Knows best.